T I T L E           LIONEL'S STORY F A N D O M           Hewligan (Boa vs Python/Family Album) P A I R I N G           Emmett/Lionel R A T I NG           Soft R W O R D   C O U N T           29,554 words S U M M A R Y Lionel Thayer is a young man on a journey. He’s learning about his place in the world and the person that he truly is. Most importantly of all, he’s learning what it’s like to fall in love - and how that love can give him the courage to stand up for what he believes. N O T E S This story was inspired by certain characters and events from ‘Family Album’ and ‘Boa vs. Python’ which I then used for my own nefarious purposes. Some of the source dialogue has been paraphrased. I’ve played around with the timelines so that Lionel and Emmett are the same age in my universe. I moved things forward so that Lionel is of college age in the 1980s - which is around the time that Emmett would have been at college. A huge thank you to my wonderful betas, Lantean Drift, Madison, Vida Boheme and Xanthe, for their support and advice.

~*~

1987

Lionel turned into the driveway of his parents’ Beverly Hills home and parked over near the garage. He could hear laughter and splashing as soon as he got out of the car, and he smiled and followed the sound around back towards the pool.

It was the semester break, and Greg had just gotten back from the University of Alabama, and everyone was getting together for a traditional Thayer family lunch. Lionel hadn’t seen his brother for a few months, and he’d missed him. It was funny; he and Greg were nothing alike – pretty much all Greg thought about were girls and football, and Lionel... didn’t. Even as kids they’d always been too different to ever really be friends, but he loved him just the same.

He turned the corner of the house where the bougainvillea was spilling brightly over the trellis. It was a beautiful spring day, and he could see Greg splashing around in the pool with their sister, Valerie, and his father standing over by the grill.

“Hey, stranger!” Lionel waved and walked over.

“Hey, Li,” Greg shouted. “Come on in – the water’s great.”

“Maybe later.”

“Cool,” Greg said. “We can beat the girls at pool ball – as usual.”

“You wish.” Val laughed, waving at Lionel and then promptly ducking Greg under the water.

Greg surfaced with a splutter, shaking the hair from his face, and let out a whooping cry and began to swim after Val who shrieked equally as loudly and headed in the opposite direction.

Lionel shook his head - Greg and Val were always centre stage goofing around. He laughed as he watched Greg catch up to Val and dunk her with a triumphant shout.

“How you doin’, son?” his father called over as he tended the grill on the far side of the pool.

“Good, Dad. You need any help?”

His father smiled but waved him off – barbecue tongs firmly in his hand. “Got everything under control, thanks, Big Guy.”

“Li!”

Lionel swung around at the excited squeal. It was Anne, his youngest sister and the baby of the family, though he doubted that she’d like to be referred to that way now that she was – as she saw it - a very grown up fourteen. She’d obviously been reading in the shade of the pool house porch – as usual – and was clutching a book as she ran over and launched herself into his arms.

“Hey, Anne!” He laughed and caught her up in a hug. “Anyone would think you’d missed me.”

“I always miss you,” Anne said with a little frown. “Things haven’t been the same since you left home.”

“I’m not that far away.” Lionel kissed the top of her head. “And you saw me just last week.” He’d always had a special bond with his youngest sister even though there were nearly seven years between them. Perhaps it was because they were both a little quieter - more sensitive his mother said - than Val with her drama club and Greg and his sports.

Anne sighed. “It’s not the same thing.”

Lionel knew what she meant, and he did miss her, but he hadn’t wanted to live at home when he’d started school. It had seemed important to get away and have the freedom to be himself – though he’d really only started to figure out what that actually meant over the last few months.

He wrapped an arm around Anne’s shoulders. “How about we do something next weekend? Just the two of us? There’s a new Monet exhibit opening downtown.”

“Really? That sounds great,” Anne said happily. “But I thought you were working over the vacation?”

Lionel nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

He’d nearly finished his sophomore year at USC, where he was majoring in photojournalism, and he was interning in the PR department of his parents’ studio in Hollywood during the semester break. He didn’t want to work in the movies, but he was getting some really good practical experience there. Plus he liked to get away from the glitz and superficiality of the publicity shoots and wander around the back lot taking candid shots of the real life people working behind the scenes. “I mainly do Monday through Friday though, so how about we make a date for Sunday? We could go out for breakfast first.”

Anne beamed at him and hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Li. I’d love it.”

“Lionel! You’re here. I didn’t hear you arrive.”

Lionel turned around and smiled as his mother swept out of the house looking as beautiful as ever. She was carrying a huge bowl of salad, and he took it from her and kissed her cheek.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart.” She linked her arm through his, and they all walked over to the dining area in the loggia by the side of the pool. “It’s so good to see you. How are things - oh!” She threw her hands in the air. “The rolls! They’re still in the oven. Your daddy swears I’ll forget my head one of these days.”

Lionel put the salad on the table and exchanged grins with Anne as his mother rushed back towards the kitchen calling out to Elena, the housekeeper, to get the rolls before they were burnt. If he knew Elena they’d already be waiting.

“Okay, everybody,” his mother called, hurrying back a minute later with a platter in each hand. “Out of the pool now - Greg, Val. Lunch is ready.” She looked over towards the grill. “Ward? Are you done yet? That flame looks awfully high – they’re not charred are they?”

“You worry too much,” his father said, walking over with a large plate heaped high with aromatic steak and chicken. “They’re cooked to perfection.”

Greg and Valerie got out of the pool, scrubbing sketchily at their wet hair with towels, and shrugged hurriedly into shorts and tee shirts, and everybody was soon seated.

Lionel watched as his father looked around the table and smiled broadly at them all. “It’s good to have the family back together again.”

~*~

Lionel sank down into a lawn chair with a groan. He’d probably eaten too much, but he never had been able to resist Elena’s peach cobbler.

“So...” Anne flopped down next to him tucking her legs under her; she was still at that awkward, gangly stage, and she seemed to have grown another couple of inches practically every time he saw her. “Have you found a new roommate yet?”

Lionel shook his head. He’d lived in the dorms during his freshman year but had been sharing a small, two-bedroom place near the beach for the past year. Unfortunately, his roommate, Chris, had moved out at the end of the semester to go and live with his girlfriend, and he couldn’t really afford it on his own.

“No luck yet, but I’ve put some flyers up on campus,” he said, “and there’s a guy coming round later to take a look.” He hoped he was okay and that they could work something out. He really didn’t want to have to give up the house – he loved being so near to the ocean.

“Anne! Anne, honey?” Their mother was calling from the house. “Phone – it’s Gail.”

Anne jumped up; she and Gail had been best friends since kindergarten. “Sorry, Li – I won’t be long. You won’t go without saying goodbye will you?”

Lionel smiled. “Of course I won’t. Now go and catch up on all the gossip since the last time you talked – which, if I know you two, was probably just this morning.”

“Li-o-nel!”

“A-anne!” he sing-songed right back at her, and she giggled and smacked a kiss to his cheek and ran off to the house.

Lionel settled back in his chair.

Val was floating on an inflatable lounger at the end of the pool reading a magazine, and his father and Greg were down on the lawn tossing a football around. They’d asked him to join in, but he’d begged off blaming too much cobbler – which wasn’t a complete lie.

Before he became a movie producer, Ward Thayer had been a Marine, and he’d fought in Vietnam. He had decorations for bravery and was what people liked to call a real ‘man’s man’. He’d always encouraged his boys to be competitive - right since they’d been kids – wanting them to play sports and reinforcing the idea that nothing was as important as winning. Greg had thrived, a natural whether it was football or baseball or pretty much any sport, but Lionel had hated it. He’d tried to be interested, had wanted to make his father proud, but he just didn’t enjoy sports the way that Greg did and wasn’t really all that good at anything except for maybe tennis.

He watched now as they laughed and threw the ball around, roughhousing together.

On some level Lionel had always known that his father was closer to Greg than to him and that Greg was exactly the kind of son that he’d always wanted. It wasn’t all that surprising really as his father and Greg were so alike, sharing similar interests and viewing life in the same very ‘black and white’ way. He wasn’t bitter about it, but it did make him feel a little sad that he and his father didn’t have a similar bond.

Lionel had seen the pride literally blazing in his father’s eyes the day that Greg had won a place to play football at Alabama. He couldn’t remember him ever looking at him like that. It’s not that he wasn’t supportive, and he always offered praise at Lionel’s achievements, but it seemed like there was always a hint of disappointment behind his smile. It was as if Lionel had never quite met his expectations, and he couldn’t understand why his son would choose art or photography when he could be playing ball or out chasing girls like his brother.

Lionel sighed.

That was something else. He hadn’t told anyone, especially not his father, but he wasn’t interested in girls and never had been. He’d only ever kissed a girl once – at his senior prom – and he hadn’t wanted to do it again.

It’s not like he was dumb. Looking back, he realised that he’d always known, somewhere deep down, that he was different. He liked girls just fine but only as friends, and he hadn’t wanted anything more from them – not the way that Greg and the other boys at high school had.

He’d always tried so hard to be the son that his father truly wanted and so maybe he’d just been hiding from what he’d always known inside. Moving away from home and meeting so many different kinds of people at school had helped him to start to question himself and what he wanted from life. It had taken him a while but he’d finally figured things out a few months ago.

He blew out a long breath and let his head tip back in his seat.

He was gay... and the idea thrilled and terrified him at the same time.

It felt good to finally admit to himself why he felt the way that he did - like he’d found the missing piece to a puzzle that had been nagging at him his whole life. It was exciting too, and the world suddenly seemed like a completely different place with experiences he could only imagine right now. That was part of the problem though – he’d always been kind of shy and, even though he knew that he was gay, he literally had no clue what to do about it.

He did know one thing though. There was no way that he could tell his parents – his father would go insane.

~*~

The doorbell rang, and Lionel dropped the proof sheet that he’d been studying back onto the table and headed to the front door. The door was old, probably original to the house, and the heavy oak had a small, clear glass window at about head height. He could see a man standing outside and, as Lionel opened the door, he turned around.

It was a young guy. He was about Lionel’s age and maybe a couple of inches shorter, but he was broader and had collar length brown hair that was just curling at the ends. What really caught Lionel’s attention though were his eyes – they were really, really blue and kind of amazing. The guy had a great smile too – it was a little slanted and quirky... and was slowly fading away. What? Oh, jeez – Lionel couldn’t believe that he’d just been standing and staring like that.

“Hi,” the guy said, and Lionel had the feeling that he may have said it already. “Lionel Thayer?”

“Um. Yeah, yes. I’m Lionel. Hi.”

“Hi.” The guy smiled. “I’m Emmett Stevens.” He held out his hand, and the grey fabric of his tee shirt stretched really nicely over the muscles of his arms. “We spoke on the phone earlier? I’m here about the house?”

“Yes, of course! Pleased to meet you,” Lionel said and shook Emmett’s hand – it was big and warm. He smiled, feeling a little nervous. “Sorry. Come inside – please.” He stepped back and waved Emmett through.

The front door lead straight into the main living space, and Emmett walked in. “Nice place,” he said, glancing around.

“Thanks.”

The house was kind of small. It had an open-plan, split-level living and dining area with an archway through to the kitchen and a corridor that led to the back of the house where the bedrooms and shared bathroom were. It wasn’t exactly fancy, but it was clean and he tried to keep it tidy. Chris – Lionel’s previous roommate - hadn’t seemed to care what the place was like, and he’d spent most of his time over at his girlfriend’s anyway. Lionel had worked hard to make it homier though; he’d painted up some neat, old bookcases that he’d found out in the garage at his parents’ house, and got some brightly coloured throws for the couch, and he’d also hung some of his photographs on the walls. He liked living here and wanted it to be comfortable.

Lionel suddenly remembered his manners. “Ah, can I get you anything? A soda?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” Emmett said and took the step up into the small dining area where Lionel’s camera and tripod were set up. “Photography major?”

“Photojournalism,” Lionel said, walking over to where Emmett was looking at some of the photographs scattered across the table. They were the shots that he’d taken at the studio, and he was hoping to use some of them for his end of year project, but he hadn’t quite decided which ones yet. “I’m interning at one of the studios over the vacation.”

“Looks interesting.” Emmett sounded like he genuinely meant it.

“Yeah, it is.” Lionel smiled, relaxing as they talked.

“Is that what you want to do? Work in the movies?”

“Oh, no.” Lionel shook his head. “I’d like to do something a little more real, you know? Maybe work for one of the news syndicates or go freelance.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Emmett nodded as he studied the pictures – it was a black and white series that Lionel had taken on the back lot showing a team of grips dismantling one of the sets. He’d liked the idea of juxtaposing the real world with the fantasy. “These are really good.”

Lionel ducked his head a little and smiled. “Thanks. How about you? What are you studying?”

“I’m in the first year of my doctorate.”

“Oh, I didn’t realise you were that old.” Lionel stopped and blushed. “I don’t mean that you look old. I was just surprised - I thought you were my age. Sorry I...”

Emmett laughed, but it wasn’t a mean sound – in fact, it was actually kind of nice. “No, I know what you mean. I get that a lot. I’m only twenty, but I skipped a few grades in high school and started college early – I’m not quite ready for a walker yet though.” He laughed again, and Lionel grinned.

“So what’s your field?”

“Herpetology – snakes mainly,” Emmett said.

“Wow, isn’t that kind of dangerous?” Lionel asked and then wanted to kick himself. He sounded like some wide-eyed kid. Emmett was going to think he was an idiot.

“It can be,” Emmett said easily, “you just have to know what you’re doing and treat them with respect.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Jeez, could he get any lamer?

“So, is it okay if I see the rest of the place?” Emmett waved towards the rest of the house.

What? Oh... Lionel had almost forgotten why Emmett was here, and suddenly their rooming together didn’t seem like such a great idea. He really liked Emmett – despite only just having met him – and that was the problem. Being gay hadn’t been an issue when Chris was here – for one thing Lionel had only figured out that he was gay fairly recently and also Chris hadn’t been his type. Of course, he hadn’t actually known what his type was exactly - until he’d opened the door a few minutes ago. It was looking like maybe Emmett was exactly his type.

Despite having had a few months to get used to it, things were still a little upside down in his head right now, and his emotions felt kind of raw. The idea of living with someone that he was fairly sure he was attracted to really didn’t seem all that smart.

“Look... about that,” Lionel hedged, knowing how awkward he sounded. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“What? You hate me already?” Emmett grinned and checked his watch. “After four minutes? Wow, that has to be a record – even for me.”

“No, no – it’s not that.” Lionel sighed. It was more like the complete opposite, but he wasn’t about to say that. “I think it’s maybe just... a question of compatibility, you know?”

“Okay, I know that I can work insane hours sometimes,” Emmett said, “though I am trying to make sure that I get out of the lab more, and, yes, I have been known to leave my dirty dishes in the sink on occasion...” He grinned. “But I’m not a serial killer – I promise. Scout’s honour.” He touched his fingers to his forehead in a dorky kind of salute that should have looked stupid but somehow didn’t.

“No!” Lionel said hurriedly. “It’s not that.”

Emmett smiled again, and his eyes held a hint of mischief that made Lionel feel weirdly warm inside. “So, what is it? Oh, I get it – you’re the serial killer.”

“What? No!” He knew that Emmett was only kidding, but he was suddenly feeling confused and kind of overwhelmed. “Look, it’s just that...” His heart began to pound, and he could feel the adrenaline flooding through him. He paused and took a deep breath. “I’m gay.”

It was quiet for a moment with just the steady sound of the clock ticking in the kitchen and the excited bark of one of the neighbourhood dogs in the distance. It was the first time that he’d ever said the words out loud, and he felt almost light-headed with relief.

“Yeah, I kinda guessed.” Emmett nodded. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” His voice was kind and knowing, and his smile was gentle. “To finally say it?”

It was like Emmett could read his mind... like he knew exactly what he was feeling. “Wait... you’re, um?” Lionel stuttered to a halt.

Emmett nodded. “I’m gay too.”

Wow, that was... wow. “I had no idea,” Lionel breathed. “How did you know I was?”

“Gaydar.” Emmett grinned, but Lionel could tell that he wasn’t making fun of him. “I don’t know - I just did.” He said it so matter of factly, so acceptingly - like it really was okay and no big deal.

“I couldn’t – can’t – tell,” Lionel said. “About you... but that’s not so much of a surprise, I guess.” He paused, feeling awkward and incredibly young despite them being the same age. “I only kind of figured it out myself a couple of months back. That I was – that I am – gay, I mean.”

“Really?” Emmett didn’t look judgmental though or like he thought that Lionel was stupid, and suddenly that seemed really important.

“Yeah.” Lionel laughed a little self-consciously. “I’m always two steps behind.”

“Hey, everybody’s different and works things out in their own time.” Emmett smiled. “It’s nothing to worry or be ashamed about, you know. There’s no right or wrong here.”

Lionel realised that Emmett wasn’t patronising him or mocking him, and suddenly he didn’t feel quite so awkward anymore. It was so good to finally be able to talk to someone about all of this. He hadn’t realised how isolated he’d been feeling.

“You haven’t told your family yet, have you?”

“God, no! I couldn’t... I can’t.” Just the thought sent a flash of panic straight to his gut. “My dad would never understand. My brother’s a total jock, and my dad’s always wanted me to be more like him. I don’t know what he’d do if he knew about me.”

Emmett looked at him carefully for a moment and then squeezed Lionel’s shoulder. “I get that it’s hard, but sometimes you just have to be yourself.” His tone was caring, and there was no censure.

Lionel nodded, still feeling the warmth where Emmett had touched him down to his bones. “Yeah, I guess, but I just can’t... I wouldn’t know how.” He paused. “How about you? Do your parents know?”

“Yeah. They’re okay about it.” He shrugged. “I think they decided that there are worse things that can happen.”

“You’re lucky,” Lionel sighed.

“In some ways.” Emmett looked a little distant for a second and then he grinned brightly. “So, how about it? Do you think we’re ‘compatible’ enough now for us to be roommates?”

Lionel felt his cheeks burning as he had a sudden mental image of just how compatible he wished he and Emmett could really be, and he swallowed past the dryness in his throat. God! It was ridiculous – he’d only just met the guy.

“And I promise that I’m really not a serial killer.” Emmett winked and crossed his heart with a finger.

He looked so carefree and happy – and totally at ease with who he was - and suddenly Lionel wanted to feel that way too. He wanted to share that freedom.

Lionel took a breath, feeling brave and a little crazy, and smiled. “So, when can you move in?”

Emmett grinned – his mouth doing that weird twisting thing again - and Lionel had a fleeting thought of how it might feel pressed against his own. “How does tomorrow sound?”

Lionel had the feeling that his life was about to change. He didn’t know if it would make things easier – or a whole lot more complicated – but he did know that he couldn’t wait to find out. He smiled again. “Sounds perfect.”

~*~

Emmett arrived the next morning in a banged up old, beige Chevy that had more rust than paintwork, with an over-stuffed Army duffle slung over one shoulder and a surfboard tucked under his arm.

Lionel said a quick ‘hi’, explained about the sometimes hinky temperature control on the shower, pointed him in the direction of the coffee maker, and then had to head to the studio.

Things didn’t get much better over the next few days as Lionel was at the studio every day, and Emmett had some experiments running that seemed to require a lot of late nights. They exchanged good mornings or good nights as they crossed in the hallway and that was about it. It was weird though, despite hardly knowing or even seeing Emmett, the house already felt more like a home than it had in all the time that Chris had been there.

~*~

Lionel yawned and scratched his head, pushing his hair back where it was flopping into his eyes. It was Saturday, and he didn’t have to go into the studio. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured himself some juice.

“Hey.”

Emmett strolled into the kitchen. His hair was kind of everywhere, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for a couple of days. He was wearing a faded out tee shirt with a T-Rex on it and a pair of pretty threadbare looking boxer shorts.

Lionel couldn’t help staring as Emmett leaned forward to get a bowl of eggs out of the back of the refrigerator, and the worn cotton stretched snugly over his ass. Wow... Emmett had a really nice ass. Lionel coughed and quickly looked away. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red and hoped that Emmett wouldn’t notice.

“You okay?” Emmett asked, turning back from the fridge.

“Fine.” Lionel nodded and took a gulp of juice. “I’m fine.”

“You eaten yet? Want some eggs?”

“That sounds great.” He headed over to the pantry to grab the bread to make toast - and kept his gaze firmly to himself.

“I have to go into the lab later,” Emmett said as he whisked up the eggs. “I need to check on my babies.” He grinned.

Lionel had been a little worried that Emmett might bring some snakes with him when he moved in – as pets or as part of his studies or something. Luckily, it turned out that all of his current research subjects were in one of the university’s zoology laboratories, and so Lionel was spared the thought of poisonous reptiles slithering around the house. It wasn’t that he was afraid exactly, but he’d had a kind of bad experience one year at camp when some kid had thought it would be funny to put a ground snake in his bunk and so he’d been a little wary ever since.

He gave a mental sigh. Camp had been another one of those things that his dad had encouraged because they focussed on playing lots of sports and other character-building activities that boys were supposed to enjoy. Naturally, Greg had loved it, and he’d hated it - apart from one year when one of the instructors had run a photography workshop. That was the best time he’d ever had at camp, and the start of his love of photography.

The sound of Emmett putting a pan on the stove dragged him back to the here and now.

“So,” Emmett said. “I wondered if you maybe wanted to come along?”

“To the lab?” He wasn’t so sure about the snakes but spending time with Emmett sounded really good.

“Yeah. I thought you might want to bring your camera - a couple of the big constrictors are shedding their skins right now, and it’s really cool to watch. It’s okay if you don’t want to though.” Emmett shrugged. “It was just an idea.”

“No!” Lionel said quickly and then added more softly. “I’d really like that – thanks.”

~*~

They headed to the lab after breakfast.

Emmett grinned as they got into his car. “It’s kind of crappy, but hey - it beats walking. And best of all, the bank don’t own a penny of it - not that they’d want it,” he snorted.

Lionel laughed. The car was pretty beat up, but it didn’t matter to him. Emmett had mentioned that he’d had to pay his own way through college, and he assumed that Emmett’s family probably weren’t all that well off. Lionel knew just how lucky he was that his folks could afford to support him – though he did try to be as independent as he could and had gotten summer jobs ever since he’d been in high school.

“Have you had the Mustang long?” Emmett asked as they pulled on to the highway.

“Since I was eighteen,” Lionel said. “My parents bought it for me – it was a birthday and graduation present combined.” He hoped that he didn’t sound like some spoiled, rich kid.

“Sweet.” Emmett whistled, but he didn’t look pissed or anything. “That’s a really nice ride.”

The little, red Mustang had been Lionel’s first car, but it was more than that to him. He smiled as he remembered how his parents had hidden it at a neighbour’s. He could still picture the broad grin stretching his father’s face as he’d driven it up to the house on the morning of Lionel’s graduation. He’d been so excited when his father had handed him the keys, and, for that one brief moment, he’d felt a connection between them that had never been there before. It was kind of sad but that had been the only time in his life that he’d ever felt like they were truly close – all over a shared love of a car.

He startled a little as Emmett turned on the radio, and Bon Jovi suddenly began to blast through the car.

“Ye-ah, livin’ on a prayer!” Emmett sang along.

Lionel smiled. Emmett sounded so happy and completely unselfconscious.

Emmett glanced over and grinned at him, still singing. “Take my hand and we’ll make it I swear...”

Lionel laughed and joined in quietly, his shyness fading as Emmett’s smile grew broader.

~*~

The lab was down in a basement, and the lighting was pretty dim. There were rows of shelves and a long workbench with various pieces of equipment – microscopes, centrifuges and a lot of stuff that Lionel didn’t recognise – and then a row of large, brightly lit glass tanks along one wall.

It all looked regular enough, but the dim lighting – not to mention the idea of all the snakes – made it seem a little intimidating and so Lionel hung back slightly. Then Emmett waved him over to one of the tanks, and he looked so eager that Lionel forgot about everything else and hurried over and knelt down by Emmett’s side in front of the big glass tank. There were a lot of rocks and vegetation inside, but, despite the heat lamp, he couldn’t really see anything else. “What’s in there?”

“Rattlesnake,” Emmett said. “Western Diamondback.” He pointed to the far corner of the tank, and now Lionel could see something dark and sinuous coiled on top of a log. Two bright eyes were looking at him, and he moved a little closer to Emmett.

“Don’t worry,” Emmett said gently, but he didn’t move away. “Daisy’s pretty docile – unless she feels threatened and then she can get a little stubborn.”

“Daisy?” Lionel laughed, partly in shock and partly in relief.

“Well, it’s better than subject # 8734.” Emmett grinned. “Plus they’re more than just research – they’re helping me with my work, and I try to take care of them and make sure they’re well looked after.”

Lionel glanced at Emmett. He was gazing down fondly into the tank, and the diffuse light was turning his eyelashes into dark smudges that almost seemed to touch the soft skin of his cheeks.

“Anyway - I like to give them names. It’s fun.” Emmett looked up as he spoke, and Lionel ducked his head, not wanting to be caught staring.

“So, what is it that you’re doing?”

“I’m trying to find out more about the way that snake venom works – how it interacts with the blood of the prey.”

“I thought you said that Daisy wasn’t dangerous.” Lionel looked back at the tank nervously.

“She’s not – as long as you know what you’re doing.” Emmett smiled. “But she is venomous.”

“So what happens when you find out about the venom?” Lionel asked. “Are you trying to find a cure for snake bites? I thought there already were things like that.”

“Something like that.” Emmett nodded. “It’s still just in the early stages, but my idea is that by finding out how individual venoms work then perhaps I can see if there’s a way to make a universal anti-venom.”

“Because right now if you get bitten you need the right anti-venom to treat it?”

“Exactly!” Emmett said, and Lionel could almost see his eyes shining as he got into his subject. “But the problem is that most people don’t know what kind of snake bit them, and so it can take too long to find the correct anti-venom and a lot of people die needlessly.”

“Huh, a universal anti-venom seems kind of obvious when you put it like that.”

Emmett laughed. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? If only the grant committee thought that way – it’s like getting blood from a stone.” He paused and winked. “Or maybe venom from a rattler.”

“Ouch! That’s bad.” Lionel laughed.

Emmett’s smile grew brighter, and his whole face seemed to light up. Right then Lionel knew that he wanted to see more of that smile.

They spent a couple of hours at the lab.

Emmett took care of the snakes in each tank, explaining what he was doing as he worked, and Lionel watched and listened, gradually beginning to appreciate a little of how Emmett viewed them. He clearly saw them as intelligent and sometimes deadly but also beautiful, and as Lionel lifted his camera he tried to see them in that way too – to see them through Emmett’s eyes.

He quickly shot a full roll of film and then switched to black and white to try and catch the interplay of light and shadow in the almost luminescent shimmer of the snakes’ scales. He may have grabbed a few shots of Emmett as he worked too – he couldn’t help himself.

Eventually they were done, and they headed back to the car.

“Thanks,” Lionel said happily as he stowed his gear in the back. “I had a really great time – and that’s not something I thought I’d ever say about spending a morning in a room full of snakes.”

“I’m glad,” Emmett said. “A lot of people are scared of snakes and don’t understand them. They see something that looks different and because it doesn’t have a cute furry face they automatically think that it must be bad. But snakes aren’t evil or sinister – they’re just trying to live like anybody else.”

“Is that why you decided to work with them? To help people understand them better?”

“Partly.” Emmett nodded and pulled out of the parking lot. “I also lost someone – my sister – to a snake bite when I was a kid.”

Lionel looked over in shock. “Oh, God - I’m so sorry.”

Emmett gave him a quick smile and then focussed back on the road. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago now. I was only six, and my parents were working down in South America – my dad was a doctor with the World Health Organisation. We were staying in a small village, and my sister got bitten by a snake – she was only four. No one knew what kind of snake it was and by the time my dad had driven her to the nearest hospital it was too late.”

“But a universal anti-venom could have stopped that from happening,” Lionel said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” Emmett nodded.

Lionel didn’t really know what else to say. He could only imagine what it must have felt like – how he’d feel if he lost Anne or Val or Greg.

“I don’t tell that story to a lot of people,” Emmett said after a while, “but do you know the first thing that most of them say - ‘so why don’t you hate snakes?’.”

“Because it’s not the snake’s fault,” Lionel said simply. After listening to everything that Emmett had been talking about back at the lab and seeing the focus and passion in his face he couldn’t understand anybody not realising that.

They’d arrived back at the house, and Emmett pulled the car onto the driveway. He switched off the engine and turned to face Lionel.

“Yeah, but most people don’t get that.” Emmett smiled, and it was another of those bright, warm smiles.

Lionel felt a happy glow deep in his chest, and he smiled back.

“Is that what you meant before about your folks being okay with you being gay because there are worse things? Because stuff like that doesn’t really matter?”

Emmett’s smile grew wider, and he looked at Lionel for a long moment. “Yeah – and most people don’t get that either.”

Lionel ducked his head for a second, feeling suddenly shy under the focus of those intense blue eyes.

“Hey, I’m hungry. How about some lunch?” Emmett asked.

The moment was broken, and Lionel had the feeling that Emmett had understood and done it on purpose.

He nodded happily. “Sure.”

They walked into the house side by side.

~*~

Lionel pulled up in front of his parents’ home. He was here to pick Anne up for breakfast, but he’d purposely arrived a little early.

Spending time with Emmett had made him realise some things about himself, and he’d lain awake for a long time the night before thinking.

Emmett was so comfortable about who he was as a person and about his sexuality. Lionel wanted to be able to feel that way too, but he knew that it was never going happen while he was hiding who he was.

Emmett had said that you had to be true to yourself, and right now he wasn’t doing that because he was hiding something really important from the people he cared most about in the world.

It had been an incredible relief when he’d finally admitted to himself that he was gay - even if it was still kind of scary at times too – and it felt so good when he was with Emmett and he didn’t have to pretend. He wanted to have that freedom with his family too, but he knew that would only happen if he was honest with them about who he really was.

He took a deep breath and got out of the car.

Of course, he wasn’t naive enough to think that it was going to be easy, but he knew that he had to try.

He walked around the back of the house, and, as he’d hoped, his mother was sitting having breakfast on the patio. He’d decided to tell his mother first as she’d always been more understanding than his father. There was just no way that he could face telling him yet.

“Lionel!” his mother called out happily, taking off her glasses and putting down the newspaper. “I wasn’t expecting you so early - I don’t think Anne’s down yet.”

“That’s okay.” Lionel kissed his mother’s cheek and sat down. “Actually I wanted to see you. Is Dad here?”

“No. He went out for a run.” She looked concerned. “Is everything alright? You look a little pale. You’re not coming down with something are you?”

“No, everything’s fine – I was just hoping that we could talk that’s all.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She smiled. “Do you want some coffee? There’s plenty.”

“Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

Lionel watched as his mother lifted the elegant china coffee pot and poured. She passed him his cup, but he put it down untouched and began to trace the shape of the ornate china handle. It was so small and delicate between his fingers.

“Are you sure there’s nothing wrong? You seem awfully quiet.”

Lionel gave himself a mental shake. “No... it’s just that I want to tell you something, but it’s kind of difficult - and I don’t want you to tell Dad about it. Not yet.” Or ever really - though he knew that his father would have to know one day.

His mother put her cup down. “You know that I don’t like keeping secrets from your daddy, Lionel.”

Lionel laughed, and he could hear the bitterness. “This won’t be hard, believe me.”

His mother looked a little upset and that really wasn’t fair because it wasn’t her fault that his father wouldn’t understand.

He smiled nervously. “Sorry. It’s just that I don’t really know how to say this, but I need to tell you - and you know how Dad can be...”

“Okay,” his mother said and squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I won’t tell him.”

Lionel sighed. “Thanks.”

He ducked his head, suddenly unsure of what to say now that he’d got this far, and then looked up into the familiar warmth of his mother’s eyes. She’d always been there for him – always kind and loving and supportive. He didn’t want to lose that – to lose her – but he knew that he owed it to her, and himself, to be honest. She deserved to know who he really was.

He took a deep breath.

“I’m gay, Mom.”

The words seemed to hang in the air, and he was surprised at how strong his voice sounded. This didn’t feel the same as telling Emmett though. This was his mother, and he was suddenly terrified that she wouldn’t understand or that she’d turn him away. He stared at her intently, desperate for any reaction, but her expression was frozen and time seemed to stop for a while - and then she said possibly the last thing that he’d expected.

“Are you sure?”

He laughed – he couldn’t help it. “Mom! Of course I’m sure.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She put a hand briefly to her mouth. “I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say.” She looked like she was trying to pull herself together by force. “I just wasn’t expecting this and... you have to give me some time here, Lionel.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“No! You don’t ever have to apologise for who you are, sweetheart.” She smiled, but it looked strained and brittle. “Is this something new? Just a phase, maybe?” she added, sounding desperately hopeful. “You’re still so young...”

“Mom,” he chided. “It’s not a phase. I think I’ve always known, but I only figured it out recently.”

“Figured it out? Do you mean you’ve been, ah, experimenting?” his mother asked warily. “With other boys?”

“Mom!” He could hear the underlying worry in her question, but he couldn’t talk to her about his sex life – not that he actually had one yet.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that you hear stories, and it can be so dangerous and there’s all this in the news about AIDS.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Mom – I’ll be careful.”

She nodded, but her eyes were still full of worry.

“Mom, I...” He didn’t know what else to say.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry - it’s not like I don’t know and work with gay people. This is Hollywood after all, but...”

“Now it’s your son and that’s different,” Lionel said sadly.

“No! No. That wasn’t what I meant.” She paused. “I just... this is all so sudden, Lionel - you have to give me some time to get used to this. I don’t want you to get hurt or to put yourself into danger – or to be unhappy.”

“Mom, this isn’t your fault.” He could see her blaming herself and wondering what she’d done wrong. “It’s just who I am – nothing ‘went wrong’ to make me like this – you didn’t do anything. It just is, okay? This is just the way that I am – it’s not right or wrong or good or bad – this is just me.” He could feel the truth as he said it and remembered what Emmett had said about not being ashamed. “This is who I am, Mom,” he repeated.

“I know,” his mother said, but she still looked upset, “but this is going to make your life so much harder. There are people who won’t know you, but who’ll hate you just because of what you are. You’re a wonderful person, Lionel – kind and decent - and I can’t stand the thought of people thinking of you like that.”

It was funny - of all the worries that he’d had about coming out he’d only considered the effect it would have on him. He hadn’t realised how much it could hurt his mother simply due to her not wanting to see him hurt.

“I know that, Mom, but it would be worse to lie to you about who I really am. That really would make my life hard.”

His mother smiled tearily and then looked up. “Oh! You won’t be able to have a family, Lionel.”

Lionel felt a momentary shock. “I thought I had a family.”

His mother’s eyes grew wide as she obviously realised what she’d said. “Oh, you do, sweetheart. Of course you do!” She took his hand again and held it tightly between her own. “I love you, Lionel, and I always will. Don’t you ever forget that.” She smiled, and this time it was real. “I love you.”

Lionel felt something ease in his chest. He hadn’t realised until just that second how scared he’d been that he’d never hear those words again. He smiled back and squeezed her hands. “I love you too, Mom.”

The sound of footsteps broke the quiet of the moment, and his father came jogging around the corner of the house. His mother quickly wiped her eyes and picked up her coffee.

“Hey, Li! What’s going on?” his father called as he slowed to a walk.

“Oh, nothing,” Lionel said casually. “I’m just here to pick Anne up for breakfast.”

His father grabbed a towel from the back of one of the chairs and wiped his face and neck. “There’s nothing wrong is there?”

“No, we were just chatting,” his mother said easily. “About school, relationships, the usual.”

“Hey, Big Guy - if you’ve got a new girlfriend then don’t ask your mom for advice.” His father laughed and clapped Lionel on the shoulder. “Ask me!”

Lionel smiled weakly and drank his coffee. It was cold, but he didn’t care – anything to avoid carrying on this particular conversation. Of course his father would think that a relationship would mean a girl - there was no way his worldview would allow for anything else. He could feel his mother’s concerned gaze on him, and he looked up bleakly, suddenly desperate to get away. She might support him, but there was no way that his father would ever understand.

“So where are you taking Anne, sweetheart?” his mother asked brightly. “She’s been excited all week.”

He was grateful for the change of subject. “There’s a Monet exhibition downtown. It should be really good.”

“That sounds lovely,” his mother said and began to chat away, neatly steering the conversation onto easier topics.

Lionel smiled in thanks.

~*~

Lionel closed the door behind him with a sigh. It felt really good to be home.

“Hey! In here,” Emmett called out from the dining room. “How was the exhibition?” He was sitting at the table and had a host of books and notes spread out around him.

Lionel dropped wearily onto the couch. “It was okay.” He lay down and pulled a cushion over his face. Perhaps that would help.

“Wow. That good, huh?” He could hear the grin in Emmett’s voice even through the cushion.

“No, it was great, really,” he sighed. It had been, and he and Anne had had fun together, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the conversation with his mother - and the non-conversation with his father. He heard Emmett walk over, and he tossed the cushion to one side. “It’s not that.”

Emmett sat down on the coffee table in front of him and quirked an eyebrow. “So what’s the matter?”

Lionel was suddenly so glad that Emmett was here, caring enough to ask, and that he could actually talk to him about this stuff. “I told my Mom that I’m gay,” he blurted, freaking out a little as the enormity of what he’d done began to sink in.

“Okay.” Emmett nodded slowly. “And what did she say?” His voice was calm and that helped.

“She asked me if I was sure.” Lionel rolled his eyes and then continued miserably, “and then she got kind of upset.” He swallowed. “But in the end she said that she loved me.”

“Well, that’s good,” Emmett said softly. “And how do you feel now?”

Lionel looked up at the ceiling and blew out a long breath. “I’m not sure.”

It felt good to have been honest about who he was and to know that his mother accepted him and still loved him, but he hated that she’d gotten so upset – and that he was the cause.

“She’s worried that I’ll get hurt... and scared – about AIDS and stuff.” He sighed, “I didn’t mean to upset her – that wasn’t what I wanted.”

“I know you didn’t.” Emmett nudged lightly at Lionel’s hip with his knee. “So do you wish you hadn’t told her now?”

Would it have been better if he hadn’t told her? If he’d just carried on hiding? Lionel rolled over and looked at Emmett. Emmett looked back steadily, and his expression was open and there was no judgement in his eyes.

“No, I’m glad I did,” Lionel said softly. “I need for her to know - to know the real me.”

Emmett smiled and it was one of ‘those’ smiles, and Lionel felt himself smiling too.

“So, what about your Dad?”

“God! I didn’t tell him!” Lionel laughed. “Anyway, I think I was plenty brave enough for one day.” He sobered a little. “I know that I need to - just not yet. I really can’t face the way that he’ll react. I think telling my Mom was enough for now.”

“Hey, I happen to think that what you did was brave,” Emmett said seriously. “It took a lot of guts.”

“Oh.” Lionel smiled shyly and quickly ducked his head as a flush of embarrassed pride pinked his ears.

“Hey, how about we go to the beach?”

“What?” It seemed like an abrupt shift from thinking about the nightmare of ever telling his father to heading to the beach.

Emmett just grinned and did that cute thing with his eyebrows. Oh, so maybe that was the point.

“You look like you could use some fun, and I’ve been buried in those books all day. So, beach?” Emmett grinned again.

The grin was infectious, and Lionel found himself grinning right back. “Sure. Why not?”

“Great!” Emmett beamed. “Let’s go.”

~*~

There weren’t too many people around when they arrived at the beach. It was getting late, and most of the families were already heading home, but there were still a few teenage kids goofing around in the sand and some surfers down towards the bluffs.

Lionel had changed into a short-sleeved cotton shirt and board shorts before they’d set off, and Emmett had already been wearing a pair of cargo shorts and another in his collection of faded, old tee shirts; a black one this time. Lionel was trying hard not to notice how nicely the shorts outlined his ass.

They kicked off their sneakers, and Emmett immediately wiggled his toes in the sand and gave a loud, satisfied groan.

Lionel looked at him in surprise.

“What?” Emmett laughed. “I like how it feels.”

Lionel chuckled, and he could feel some of the tension easing from his shoulders; Emmett had been right - he was already feeling more relaxed. He’d told his mother and that was that, and now he just going to try and forget about it for a while and enjoy being with Emmett. He grinned back and deliberately wiggled his toes too.

Emmett pointed smugly. “See!”

They both laughed and started to walk along the sand, burbling waves lapping over their bare feet.

Lionel came out to Topanga fairly often to take pictures, though he did come occasionally just to walk or swim a little too. He was always by himself though and being here with Emmett was already so much better.

“Do you come surfing here?” Lionel asked.

“I’ve been a couple of times.” Emmett nodded. “Though the place I was living before was farther north so I mainly hung out around Zuma. This has some great waves though – real old school long-boarders,” he said, smiling as he looked out at the surf. “It’s going to be great being so close by.”

“Yeah, I love living so near,” Lionel agreed. “Did you grow up by the ocean?”

“Kinda - my folks are originally from Philadelphia, but they’ve always moved around a lot. We lived in a lot of different places when I was growing up, and I learnt how to surf in Indonesia. We did manage to stay in the States long enough for me to finish high school though.” He smiled. “They’re in Africa right now – working with a medical aid organisation over there.”

Lionel remembered that Emmett had said his father was a doctor, but now he could understand the banged up, old Chevy. He doubted there was much money in relief work.

There was a shout of warning from behind them, and as they turned a Frisbee came flying through the air heading straight at them. Emmett caught it easily and sent it back with a laugh to a group of bashful looking kids farther down the beach.

“Nice catch,” Lionel said.

Emmett smiled. “So, do you surf?”

“Oh, no,” Lionel said, feeling a little awkward. “I don’t.”

It was strange, considering that he’d been born and raised in California, but he’d never learnt how. Maybe it was because it wasn’t something that his father had any interest in. He was originally from the mid-West and was more focussed on sports like football. So there’d been no obligatory surfing lessons for the Thayer boys, and Lionel had liked to spend most of his free time with his camera. He did watch the surfers sometimes though and imagined how much freedom they must feel.

“I could show you how next time,” Emmett said. “If you like?”

His tone was light, but Lionel thought he could hear a hint of hopefulness. Of course, that could just be him projecting, but a little dreaming never hurt anyone. “I’d love to,” he said quickly.

Emmett’s answering smile was warm and wide, and Lionel happily added it to his growing collection.

~*~

Lionel parked the Mustang next to Emmett’s Chevy. It was getting late, and he was hungry.

The new semester had started a few weeks before. Lionel only had a handful of scheduled classes as he was working on his end of year project, but he’d also been volunteering with the annual USC photography show and that had been keeping him pretty busy. He’d actually entered a couple of pieces for consideration at his tutor’s prompting - including one of the black and white shots he’d taken at Emmett’s lab.

He’d been working on his project today, though unfortunately he hadn’t been able to get into the dark room until after classes were over. He was exploring several themes involving motion and the interplay of light; he’d already got some great examples with some of Emmett’s snakes, but he’d wanted to process the film that he’d taken at Topanga last weekend as well.

He grabbed his bag out of the back of the car and smiled as he headed to the house. Of course, going to the beach hadn’t just been about his project as Emmett had also started to teach him how to surf. They’d only been a few times so far, and he wasn’t very good yet, but he’d surprised himself by how much he was enjoying it. It felt so great to just trust himself to the waves like that – and to Emmett. Emmett was a great teacher; there was never any pressure, and he made it all so much fun. Though if he was totally honest, he’d have been happy doing anything as long as it meant that he got to be with Emmett.

They were spending a lot of time together these days. Emmett’s night-time experiments had finished and so they were often both at home during the evening. It was nice – they ate together most nights and, if they weren’t studying, they’d sometimes go to the movies or just hang out and watch TV together. Emmett had a really dry sense of humour and could leave Lionel breathless with laughter doing a play by play of bad lines and plot holes while they were watching some lame show like ‘The A Team’.

It was weird, but his life suddenly seemed so much better. Everything felt more intense, like all the colours were more vibrant after years of being muted and dull – and it was because of Emmett, and the way that he made him feel about himself and who he was.

He also knew that he was falling in love... he just wished he knew if Emmett had any interest in him. It wasn’t like they were automatically going to get together just because they were both gay. There were times though when he thought that maybe Emmett liked him as more than a friend - he’d see him looking at him or smiling in a special kind of way – but he just wasn’t sure, and he didn’t want to do anything that might spoil what they already had. He didn’t know what to do anyway – it wasn’t like he could just grab Emmett and kiss him.

He shook his head at his wishful thinking and pushed open the front door. “Hi!” He dropped his stuff onto the end table. “Anybody home?”

“Hey, you’re late,” Emmett said, walking into the living area. He looked like he’d just taken a shower, and his hair was still damp and the ends were curling against his neck a little. “I was going to order pizza. What do you think?”

“That you’re a mind-reader,” Lionel chuckled.

“Extra everything but hold the olives?”

“Perfect.” Lionel sighed happily and slid onto the couch. “I’m starving.”

“Tough day?”

“Nah. Just long.”

“Yeah, I know how that is. Professor Grady dumped a tonne of transcripts on me after lunch. I practically had double vision by the time I was through,” Emmett groaned. “Oh, hey – I almost forgot - you got some mail.” He grabbed an envelope from the top of the hi-fi and dropped it into Lionel’s lap. There was a USC crest in the corner, and it looked official.

“You want a soda or something?” Emmett called on his way to the kitchen.

“Sure, that’d be great. Thanks,” Lionel answered absently, turning the envelope over. He had no idea what it could be.

“Last one,” Emmett said, putting a Pepsi on the coffee table in front of him. “Looks like we need to make a grocery run.” He sat down on the chair opposite and popped the tab of his own can. “Anything good?”

“I don’t know,” Lionel said, still staring at the envelope.

“Well, this may sound a little radical,” Emmett said conspiratorially, “but have you thought about, I don’t know, opening it?”

Lionel looked up and returned Emmett’s smirk. “See? That’s why you’re a doctoral candidate – you’re so smart.”

Emmett laughed and tossed a cushion at Lionel’s head. “Wise ass.”

Lionel grinned and batted the cushion to one side. He opened the envelope; the letter inside was heavyweight paper with the USC crest watermarked across the top. He felt his eyes widen as he read the few typewritten lines and then had to read them again. Oh, this couldn’t be happening. No way.

“Lionel? Everything okay?”

Lionel looked up and saw Emmett’s concerned expression.

“I won,” he said faintly and then jumped up and waved the letter in Emmett’s direction. “I won! The USC show! Well, the one category - that picture of Daisy came first in its class! I can’t believe it!” This was huge. The USC show was a really major event, and he hadn’t thought that he stood a chance of even placing let alone winning anything. He couldn’t stop smiling.

Emmett whooped loudly and stood up, grabbing Lionel’s shoulders. “That’s fantastic! You totally deserve it!”

Emmett pulled him into a brief hug, and Lionel could feel the heat of his body as they stood wrapped together. Emmett squeezed him quickly and then began to step away.

It was like something snapped in Lionel’s brain and before he could think about what he was doing he grabbed onto the front of Emmett’s shirt and pulled him close and pressed his lips to that beautiful smile.

He was kissing Emmett. He could feel the softness of his lips and the warmth of his breath as he exhaled and... Oh, God! He was kissing Emmett! And suddenly, inexplicably, he could feel Emmett kissing him back.

Oh.

Emmett was kissing him, and this was even better; the gentle pressure as Emmett’s lips pressed against his... the sweet, teasing tip of Emmett’s tongue opening his mouth and sliding inside... Oh, this was better than anything he could ever have imagined. There was no awkwardness, no hesitation. It was amazing, and it felt completely and utterly right.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, pressed together, their lips and tongues moving, hot breath mingling, but eventually the kisses grew softer and shorter until Emmett finally pulled away and looked at him.

Lionel ducked his head, afraid of what he might see. He didn’t think that he could bear it if he saw amusement or condescension or anything that meant that this didn’t mean as much to Emmett as it did to him. Though realistically, how could it? This meant everything to him, but what was to say that it wasn’t just a bit of harmless fun to Emmett?

“Hey,” Emmett’s voice was soft. “What’s wrong?” He touched his fingers to Lionel’s chin, gently guiding his head up. “Look at me, Lionel. Please.”

There was no amusement and certainly no condescension. Emmett looked curious, but his gaze was warm.

Lionel’s eyes dropped to Emmett’s mouth; it was a little red, and he felt a burst of heat deep inside him as he realised that he’d done that. Emmett’s mouth was red from kissing him.

“I’m sorry,” Lionel murmured, still feeling kind of overwhelmed by what had just happened. “I didn’t mean to jump you like that.”

Emmett’s lips slowly curled into a smile. “Did it look like I was complaining?”

Lionel looked up again. “You mean that you want... um...” He stammered and then dropped his head again feeling hopelessly shy and out of his depth.

“That I want you too?”

Emmett’s words made Lionel jerk his head back up, and, oh, God! His mouth was still red, and he just wanted to kiss him again, but... wait... “You want me?” he asked, stunned.

Emmett nodded. “Pretty much from the moment I met you.”

Oh, wow. That was shocking and surprising - and totally perfect. He smiled hopefully. “Oh, me too.”

Emmett smile turned a little teasing. “You know, I wouldn’t mind if you did jump me again.”

Lionel could feel the blush warming his cheeks but this time he didn’t care. “Well,” he teased back playfully, “I may have to do that.” Then he felt the confidence draining from him. “But, um... I think you should know that I... well, I’m pretty new to this.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry but I don’t really know what I’m doing and...”

Emmett was so gorgeous and kind of effortlessly cool and at ease with himself, and, despite them being practically the same age, Lionel felt like such a stupid kid next to him sometimes. Like right now.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Emmett chided softly. “You don’t have anything to apologise for. How about you stop worrying, and we just let things happen and see where we end up?”

Emmett reached up and gently brushed the hair back from where it had fallen over Lionel’s eyes. Lionel felt his breath catch a little at the easy intimacy, and he immediately wanted more.

“Why don’t we just take our time and enjoy ourselves?”

Lionel looked into Emmett’s eyes, and he could see desire there but also a tenderness and warmth. He nodded slowly. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah.” Emmett smiled. “Me too.” He cupped Lionel’s face in the palms of his hands and then leaned closer and kissed him.

~*~

It was a long time later, as he lay wrapped in Emmett’s arms, sticky and sated and happy beyond belief, that Lionel finally remembered the letter. It really had been quite a day – possibly the best day of his life - though he’d definitely take Emmett over winning some prize. He sighed happily and pressed in closer to Emmett, remembering and cherishing every moment from earlier.

They’d kissed for a long time, just standing in the living room pressed tightly together, oblivious to everything else, and then they’d eventually moved to Lionel’s room - and made love. It had been beautiful – their bodies sliding and pushing against each other until they’d both come in a rush of heat and intensity. It had been everything that Lionel had ever imagined – and so much more.

He sighed again, drifting a little in a dreamy kind of haze. It had been his first time, and Emmett had made it so special and wonderful. He’d had no idea that he could ever feel this way. He loved how close he felt to Emmett now – it was like they were connected somehow.

“Mnnmm,” Emmett breathed muzzily into Lionel’s hair. “You ‘kay?”

Lionel snuggled in closer, pillowing his head on Emmett’s shoulder, and teased his fingers through the fine hairs scattered across Emmett’s chest. “Better than okay.”

“Me too,” Emmett murmured, sounding relaxed and content.

Lionel felt a kiss pressed to his hair, and he smiled, a warm glow blossoming in his chest.

There was no contest - Emmett was better than any prize could ever be.

~*~

Lionel boosted himself out of the water and sat on the side of the pool. Val and Anne were still splashing around in the water, and he grinned as they threw the ball to him.

“You’re not giving up are you, Li?” Val laughed. “Afraid you’ll get beaten by us girls?”

“Nope, just thought I’d give you two a chance to score some points,” he teased and tossed the ball back towards them.

They laughed and swam off.

Lionel smiled and closed his eyes, tipping his head back to enjoy the sun on his face.

The last few weeks had been incredible. He couldn’t believe how perfect everything was with Emmett and how wonderful it felt to be with him. Since that first night, the days had seemed to fly by in a blur of laughter, mind-blowing sex and such an intense sense of happiness that he wondered if it was possible to actually explode from the joy of it all. He’d never felt anything like it before. Every day was even more amazing than the last - and every day he knew that he was falling deeper in love.

It was wonderful but scary too; he’d never been in love before, and he really didn’t know what to do. Should he tell Emmett that he loved him? They’d only been together for a few weeks, but he thought that maybe Emmett felt the same way. He knew that he cared for him – he showed how much every day – but they’d never talked about it or said the words. He wished that they would, but he didn’t want to say anything in case it messed things up. He could really use someone to talk to about this, but the only person, apart from Emmett, who knew that he was gay was his mother - and he really didn’t want to talk to her.

In fact, since the day that he’d told her that he was gay he’d hardly seen her or the rest of his family at all. Maybe it was a subconscious thing, and he was staying away because he still hadn’t told his father yet. His mother had called last night though and asked him over for lunch. He could tell from her voice that she was worried about him, and so he’d agreed. He just wished that he could share his happiness with his family.

“Hey, who’s that over there talking to Mom?” Anne had swum over and was pointing towards the house.

Lionel turned around. Oh, wow – it was Emmett. He scrambled to his feet and hurried over. What was he doing here?

“Emmett! Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” Emmett said and then added bashfully, “except I locked myself out of the house when I went over to the lab.”

Lionel grinned, relieved it was nothing serious. “I keep saying we should leave a spare key under the mat.”

“Yeah,” Emmett snorted, “and let’s just put up a ‘all burglars welcome, come and steal our stuff’ sign while we’re at it too.”

Lionel laughed and then remembered his mother standing looking a little bemused beside them. “Oh, Mom – sorry. This is Emmett – Emmett Stevens – my roommate.”

“Yes, he was just introducing himself when you came over.”

Emmett held out his hand. “I’m so sorry for interrupting like this, Mrs Thayer.”

“Not at all.” His mother smiled warmly as she shook Emmett’s hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, Emmett.”

Lionel felt something inside him twist a little. He wished that he could introduce Emmett as who he really was – his boyfriend. He wanted his mother to see how wonderful Emmett was and how happy he made her son. He couldn’t do that yet though – not when he hadn’t told his father - it wasn’t fair on his mother. Plus, if he was honest, there was a tiny part of him that was worried that she might not react the way that he hoped. It was one thing to say that she supported him but another to be brought face to face with actual evidence of his sexuality. He didn’t want to see discomfort or disapproval quickly masked by a polite smile.

“Can you stay for lunch? Ward – Lionel’s father – always cooks more than we need. You’d be very welcome.”

Emmett glanced quickly at Lionel but shook his head. “That’s really kind of you, Mrs Thayer, but I have a research paper that I need to finish.”

“Emmett’s doing his doctorate,” Lionel said, probably not quite managing to hide the hint of pride in his voice. “He’s a graduate assistant.”

“Otherwise known as a dogsbody.” Emmett grinned.

Lionel’s mother laughed. “Well, do at least have a drink before you have to rush off. Come and meet the rest of the family, and you can tell us about your work.”

“I really don’t mean to intrude, Mrs Thayer.”

“Oh, not at all.” Lionel’s mother smiled and walked them over to the pool. “Ward! This is Emmett – Lionel’s new roommate.”

Lionel felt his heart speed up as his father strolled over, but he relaxed when he saw that he was smiling. Of course he was – his father could hardly tell that they were sleeping together just by looking.

“Ward Thayer. Good to meet you.”

“Pleased to meet you, sir.” Emmett nodded, and they shook hands.

Lionel could see Val and Anne getting out of the pool, obviously curious to see who Emmett was. “And these are my sisters – Val and Anne.”

The girls said hi, and Lionel saw Val give Emmett a speculative look up and down. He was wearing a tight black tee that highlighted the muscles of his chest and arms, and he looked really hot. He wondered what Val would say if she knew that Emmett was off the market – and why.

“Hey!” Anne said, pointing towards the house. “Greg’s home.”

“What?” his mother said in surprise. “But he’s supposed to be at school. What’s he doing here?”

Everybody turned to look and sure enough there was Greg strolling across the lawn.

His mother rushed over and hugged him. “Greg! What are you doing home? Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, Ma,” Greg said lightly, returning the hug, but Lionel thought that he looked a little uneasy. “I wasn’t expecting the big welcoming committee though.” He looked around at everyone and grinned, looking quizzically towards Emmett.

“Oh, right.” Lionel nodded. “Greg - this is Emmett, my new roommate. Emmett – this is my brother, Greg.”

They both nodded and said hello.

“Son? Not that it’s not good to see you, but what are you doing home in the middle of the semester?”

Greg stood up a little straighter as his father spoke and then took a deep breath. “I joined the Marines, sir,” he said proudly.

“What?”

His mother’s shocked cry mirrored exactly what Lionel was feeling. Greg had joined the Marines? Why? He loved playing college football and had been so excited to start at Alabama last fall - though he had seemed preoccupied when he’d been home at Christmas. They’d talked a little, and Greg had admitted that he hadn’t been doing so well in some of his classes. Lionel had tried to help and suggested that he get a tutor, but he didn’t know if he had.

“What did you want to go and do something stupid like that for?” Val asked, looking upset.

Greg shook his head. “Look, I was flunking out of college, and so I decided to leave before they could kick me out.”

“Ward! Do something.”

Lionel’s mother looked stricken, but his father shook his head gravely. “We have to respect Greg’s wishes, Faye.” He looked thoughtfully at Greg. “Tough decision, son, but I’m proud of you.”

He was - Lionel could see it in his eyes - Greg was following in his footsteps and joining the Marines. Like father, like son.

Greg smiled broadly. “Thank you, sir.” He sounded relieved.

Lionel didn’t know what to think; he hadn’t even known that Greg was thinking about joining the military. They might not technically be at war right now but American troops were still involved in various ‘peace keeping’ actions around the world, not to mention more covert, black ops that were never publicly admitted. The Marines were at the forefront of all of that, and it was a dangerous path to follow. This was serious, and he was afraid for his brother.

He watched as Greg hugged their mother, and she buried her face in his neck. She was crying.

“I think I’d better take off,” Emmett said quietly at his side. “I don’t want to intrude on all this.”

“I wish I could come with you,” Lionel said. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch with Emmett and watch bad TV.

Emmett nodded sympathetically. “I’ll be at home when you get back.” He raised his voice a little. “It was nice to meet you all.”

“I’ll walk you to the car,” Lionel said. He grabbed his shirt from the lounger and shrugged it on as they walked around to the front of the house. His house keys were in the breast pocket, and he handed them to Emmett as they reached the Chevy.

“Thanks,” Emmett said, and smoothed Lionel’s collar down where it was twisted up at the back. “I’m sorry for barging in like this.” He rolled his eyes. “But it was this or break a window.”

“It’s okay.” Lionel smiled. “In fact, I’d just been thinking about you when you showed up. It was good to see you. I know it’s only been a couple of hours, but I was missing you.”

“Me too.” Emmett smiled back, looking pleased. “Are you okay though? About your brother?”

“I guess,” Lionel shrugged. “I don’t really know. It’s kind of scary.”

“Yeah.” Emmett squeezed his arm, holding on for a little while and then stepping away.

“I’ll see you later,” Lionel said sadly. The touch felt so good, and he wished that he could just walk into Emmett’s arms and hold on tight.

Emmett’s gaze caught his, and he smiled softly. “Later.”

Lionel watched as Emmett drove away and then he turned and headed back towards the house. He nearly ran into his father as he stepped around the corner; he was holding a pack of beer and had obviously been up to the kitchen. He looked at Lionel a little strangely for a second and then nodded down towards the loggia.

“Food’s ready, son.”

“Great,” Lionel said, trying to sound more enthusiastic than he felt and fell into step by his father.

Everyone was already sitting around the table when they arrived. The atmosphere felt strained, and it was obvious that his mother was upset but trying to put a brave face on it.

Lionel sat down and added some salad to the burger already on his plate. Anne was sitting by him and had probably served it out for him, and he smiled in thanks.

“So... Emmett seems like a nice boy,” his mother said brightly, clearly trying to make conversation that wasn’t about Greg joining the Marines. “What is it he’s studying, Lionel?”

“Herpetology,” Lionel said and then added as Val looked confused, “snakes.”

Val squealed and then threw him a sour look. “That is so creepy.” She’d always really hated snakes. “How can you share a house with someone who hangs around with a bunch of snakes all day? He must be warped.”

Lionel grinned at her. “Actually, he’s really smart. He’s working on trying to develop a special anti-venom - it could save a lot of lives.”

“That sounds wonderful and so worthwhile,” his mother said. “Doesn’t it, Ward?”

His father looked up with a frown. “Do you think he’s queer?”

Lionel felt his breath catch as the question caught him totally off guard. Why would his father even think that? Then he remembered; back at the house - had he seen him with Emmett by the car and put two and two together? He swallowed mechanically around a suddenly tasteless bite of food, and his mother cast a concerned glance in his direction.

“Ward! What a thing to say!” she scolded. “You’ve only just met him, and you’re wondering if he’s gay? I don’t know what gave you that idea - he seems like a perfectly nice young man.”

He knew that she was only trying to help, but Lionel shrank at his mother’s words. So because Emmett was nice he obviously couldn’t be gay? Only people who weren’t nice were gay? He knew he was being unfair, but it hurt.

“Does he have a girlfriend, Lionel?” his father asked doggedly. “Or talk about girls?”

Lionel shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t know, Dad.” It felt wrong to hedge like this when what he really wanted to say was ‘no, he has a boyfriend and it’s me!’. He couldn’t though – he couldn’t have that conversation with his father now, not with everyone sitting around the table like this. He wasn’t ready – and he hated himself for it.

“This is silly, Ward. Let’s just talk about something else.”

“No, Faye, this is important. Look, son – just how well do you know this guy? You only met him a couple of months ago, right?”

“Dad... I...”

“I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you living with some filthy pervert who’s having God knows what ideas about you and you not realise it.”

Lionel couldn’t speak. Emmett wasn’t a pervert, but if being gay meant that he was then so was Lionel. They weren’t though; there was nothing perverted or filthy about what they felt for each other or the way that they cared for and loved each other. He could never be ashamed of what they had together – what they meant to each other.

“Look, Li – you’re still kind of young,” his father said. “Just be careful he doesn’t try anything on with you, okay, son?”

Lionel suddenly felt angrier than he had in his entire life – a piercing, blinding anger that literally took his breath away. His father was turning everything that he and Emmett shared into something dirty and horrible.

“You know, I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions,” he said, barely managing not to shout. “I don’t need you looking over my shoulder, and I don’t need your advice or warnings, okay?” He pushed his chair back with a shriek of wood on tile and stood up. “This is my life, Dad, and I don’t need you trying to run it for me!”

He stormed off, ignoring the worried voices of his mother and Anne calling after him, and headed for his car. He could almost feel the blood pounding in his ears as he yanked open the door of the Mustang and got in, slamming it shut furiously behind him.

He tried to catch his breath, staring at the sleek dash with its high-end radio and fancy extras, and he remembered the day his father had given him this car – the smile on his face as he’d ruffled his hair and handed over the keys.

Lionel slammed his fists down hard onto the steering wheel with a shout. God! For the first time in his life, he actually hated this car.

He quickly gunned the engine and sped out of the driveway – he wanted to go home. To Emmett.

He couldn’t get his father’s words out of his head as he drove though.

‘Queer’. ‘Filthy pervert’.

They were so thoughtlessly hateful. His father didn’t even know Emmett, didn’t know what kind of a man he was, but he’d immediately labelled him as something bad and wrong – something that Lionel needed to be warned against and protected from. It wasn’t fair, and Lionel was doubly angry – not just at his father and his intolerance, but at himself and his impotence.

He should have said something. He should have stood up for Emmett – and for himself – but he just hadn’t had the guts.

He pulled up in front of the house, feeling a rush of relief when he saw the Chevy parked there, and hurried inside.

“Lionel?” Emmett walked into the living room looking surprised but happy. “I didn’t expect you back so soon. Hey...” He looked at Lionel more closely. “What’s the matter?”

“I...” Lionel just stood there, his anger suddenly draining from him and taking the last of his energy with it. “I had a fight with my Dad.”

Emmett came over. “You okay?” He cupped Lionel’s cheek gently with his palm.

“Yeah, no – not really,” Lionel sighed, leaning into the touch and feeling a little less lost.

Emmett wrapped his arms around him, and Lionel melted gratefully into their support.

“What happened? Did you tell him that you’re-”

“No.” Lionel shook his head. “It wasn’t that... well, not exactly. He said some stuff...” He stopped. He didn’t want to tell Emmett what his father had said - to repeat his horrible insinuations and bigotry.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. Come on, let’s sit down,” Emmett said and led him over to the couch.

Of course Emmett wouldn’t push him to talk if he didn’t want to, and, weirdly, that gave Lionel the strength to carry on. “It was about you – he said a bunch of stuff, and I got mad.”

“Wow, what is it with the Thayer men and this instant disliking thing, huh?” Emmett joked mildly. “Should I change my aftershave?”

Lionel tried to smile but knew that it fell flat.

Emmett nodded ruefully and pulled him closer. “So what did he say?”

“I think he may have seen us together by the car,” Lionel sighed, “and he asked me if you were gay.” He paused for a second. “Only he didn’t say that. He asked if you were ‘queer’ and the way he said it made it sound like a disease or something. Then he went on, warning me in case I was living with a per-vert.” Lionel stumbled over the word and then carried on, getting angry again as he remembered the casual way that his father had just disparaged someone he hardly knew. “God! I was so mad, and I just wanted to tell him that being gay isn’t perverted. I wanted to tell him ’Guess what, Dad? Yeah, Emmett is gay and so am I! He’s my boyfriend.’ I wanted to say all that... but I couldn’t.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Emmett interjected softly, but Lionel shook his head.

“No, it’s not. I’m so damn angry at myself. I should have told him – told them all – but I was too scared or... or something.” He looked intently into Emmett’s face. “I don’t want you to think that I’m ashamed of you – or of us. I love...” he caught himself. “Love being with you, and you make me so happy.” He carried on, the words rushing out of him. “And I wanted to be able to tell him that too – that you make me so, so happy - but he wouldn’t understand. I know he wouldn’t – all he can see is something that’s filthy and wrong.” Lionel felt himself winding down. “But it isn’t.”

Emmett kissed Lionel’s temple. “No it isn’t.” He smiled. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Lionel sighed. It was as if Emmett had been reading his mind again. “And I don’t want him to spoil what we have or take it away.” That was another fear that he hadn’t even realised he’d had until now. He was worried that if he told his father about being gay – about him and Emmett – that he’d somehow try and split them up or take this away from him.

“No one’s going to do that,” Emmett said firmly. “No one can do that.” He smiled and leaned in and kissed Lionel softly. “I love you.”

“W-what?” Lionel asked numbly. “You?”

Emmett nodded. “I love you.”

Emmett’s smile was so fond and so loving, and Lionel suddenly realised that he’d been seeing that look for a while now; Emmett had loved him all this time.

“Oh,” Lionel breathed, and he could feel a huge smile stretching across his face. “Oh. I love you too - so much.”

“Cool.” Emmett grinned, but his eyes seemed just that little bit bluer and he kissed Lionel again for a long, long moment. “That’s all that matters.”

Emmett pulled Lionel down to lie against him on the couch, their legs entwining as they stretched out.

Lionel sighed happily and moved closer, wrapping his arm around Emmett’s waist and resting his head on his shoulder. Oh, wow – Emmett loved him! He couldn’t even describe how that made him feel; he was just so damn happy. This was the final thing that made everything perfect.

Then he remembered what had happened earlier; there was still one dark cloud on the horizon. “I really did want to tell everyone about us,” he said regretfully, his fingers worrying at a frayed belt loop on Emmett’s pants. “You know when I introduced you to my Mom? I wanted to tell her right then – for her to know that you’re my boyfriend. I’m so proud of you, and I want everyone to know that we’re together – to see how happy I am. I just couldn’t, and I...”

“It’s okay,” Emmett soothed. “You don’t have to worry that I’m going to think less of you or some weird crap like that.”

Lionel looked up. “Okay. This is getting freaky. Are you sure you’re not a mind reader or something?”

“I’m not telepathic.” Emmett laughed. “I just understand how you’re feeling right now.” He brushed back the hair that had fallen across Lionel’s eyes. “A lot of stuff has happened lately, and it’s been kind of crazy. You don’t have to beat yourself up about this.”

Lionel nodded. “Yeah,” he said quietly, “but I wish I’d been able to tell my dad instead of running away.”

“You didn’t run away.” Emmett pulled him down for a kiss. “And you will tell him - when you’re ready.”

Knowing that Emmett loved him somehow made him feel more resolute. He would tell his father – he needed him to know who he really was. Maybe he’d let things settle down a little first though – the fight and this whole thing with Greg - and then he’d go over in a couple of weeks and talk to him.

The decision made, Lionel melted happily into the kiss, losing himself in the soft warmth of Emmett’s mouth.

There was a sudden noise from outside, and Lionel looked up. He had just enough time to see his father’s outraged face at the small window in the front door and then the door crashed open, and his father stormed into the house.

“Dad!” Oh, God! What was he doing here?

“Son of a bitch!” His father charged over and hauled Lionel out of the way and then grabbed Emmett by the front of his shirt and pulled him up from the couch.

“Get away from my son, you filthy bastard!”

“Dad! Stop it!” Lionel tried to hold onto his father, but he was a big man and way too strong.

“You fucking pervert.” He shoved Emmett, knocking him into a bookcase and scattering the contents across the floor. “Keep your goddamn filthy, fag hands to yourself,” he shouted, following Emmett and grabbing him again and throwing him against the wall. “Don’t you even look at him. I should fucking kill you!”

Emmett was struggling to break free, but he was pinned and giving away at least fifty pounds.

“Dad! No! Leave him alone,” Lionel cried out, pulling at his father as he slammed Emmett into the wall again.

Emmett twisted to one side, but he lost his footing on the mess that had been toppled to the floor.

“Stop it!” Lionel had to stop his father from hurting Emmett.

“You bastard! What have you been doing to my son?”

“Don’t hurt him,” Lionel shouted. He grabbed at one of his father’s arms and managed to break his hold, desperately trying to drag him off Emmett. “Dad, it’s not him! It’s not him...”

Lionel felt his father’s grip grow slack.

Emmett pulled away, panting and wild-eyed, and stepped quickly out of reach.

“What?” His father turned, anger and confusion warring across his face. “What did you say?”

Lionel could feel his heart thundering in his chest. “It’s not him, Dad.” He took a breath and then looked his father in the eyes, feeling suddenly and oddly calm. “It’s me.”

His father’s face went blank for a second and then Lionel saw it cloud with disgust and despair.

“Dad... please...” He held out his hand, wanting to explain, to make him understand.

His father took a step towards him, his fists balled tightly at his sides, and Lionel saw Emmett moving to intercept, obviously concerned that his father might lash out at him. For a brief moment, he wondered if actually he would.

“I’m not going to hurt him,” his father spat and then turned back towards Lionel. “I don’t want to see you again.” His voice was emotionless, and it was like he was looking right through him. “You’re not my son.”

“Dad...”

“Don’t bother coming home; you’re no longer welcome in the family.” His father gave him one final blank-eyed look and then turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut behind him.

Lionel felt as if his legs were about to buckle, but he hurried over to Emmett and wrapped his arms around him. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Emmett pulled him close. He was still breathing hard and his shirt was torn, but he shook his head. “I’m fine. Nothing to worry about - just a few bruises.”

“Oh, God, Emmett! I’m so sorry,” Lionel said, his throat closing as he fought to stay in control. “I can’t believe that he did that – that he’d hurt you.” He sucked in an uneven breath.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay – I’m okay,” Emmett breathed against Lionel’s temple and held him tight, stroking one hand up and down his back.

Lionel pressed closer, so grateful that Emmett was here - safe and in his arms. He couldn’t believe what his father had done... what he’d said. “He said that I wasn’t his son anymore...” He felt hollowed out somehow, and he could hear the emptiness and disbelief in his voice.

“I’m sorry,” Emmett murmured, holding him even tighter and pressing his mouth against Lionel’s ear. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t even know how I feel. I mean, I knew he’d be mad but I just never expected...” He tailed off and looked at Emmett in confusion. “He disowned me.”

He felt strangely numb, but he was shaking a little, and then Emmett was rubbing at his arms and back.

“Do you want to sit down?”

Lionel looked into Emmett’s eyes. There was no judgement or disgust, just care and understanding - and love. Emmett still loved him – despite everything that had just happened. He shook his head, suddenly sure. “No. I want to go to bed.”

Emmett looked surprised.

“I want to make love,” Lionel said softly. “I don’t care what my father says or does. I’m not ashamed of who I am or who I love.” He kissed Emmett gently but with everything that he felt for him. “I love you, and nothing is going to change that.”

Emmett smiled, and it warmed Lionel to the core. “You know how you said before that you’re proud of me?”

Lionel nodded.

“You know that goes both ways, right? You amaze me.”

Lionel felt a rush of happiness that left him feeling almost giddy, despite the horribleness of what had just happened. “Come to bed with me?”

Emmett’s smile turned just a little dirty. “Definitely.”

~*~

They undressed each other slowly, exchanging touches and kisses as each piece of clothing fell to floor, and this time it felt different. It was like they were closer somehow and even more in tune with each other - as if that was even possible.

They sank to the bed, and Lionel pulled Emmett on top of him, letting his legs fall open. He sighed as he felt Emmett’s cock brush his cheeks, and he pushed up against it eagerly.

“You want?” Emmett’s voice was low, and it caught a little.

They hadn’t done this yet, but Lionel wanted it. He was sure.

“I want.” Lionel looked into Emmett’s eyes and caught the hot flash of need there. “I want this, and I want you. Please?”

Emmett’s gaze softened, and he kissed Lionel gently. “You never have to say please. I want you too. I’ll always want you, but you don’t have to prove anything.”

Lionel shook his head and smiled. “That’s not what this is about.” He pulled Emmett down until their lips were almost touching. “This is just about us.”

Emmett stared at him for a moment and then nodded. “Just us,” he whispered and pressed their smiles together.

The rest of that night was a jumble of sensation and emotion pierced with pinpoint moments of clarity that Lionel knew he would remember forever...

... Emmett’s lips touching his throat... barely there kisses scattered across his chest... hot breath against his neck... and the overwhelming and indescribable feeling of love when Emmett finally slid into his body for the first time. It was perfect. They were joined, and he felt completely at one with Emmett, seeing everything reflected right back at him as he stared up into shining, blue eyes.

In that moment, everything else simply faded away.

~*~

“You okay?” Emmett asked.

They were lying wrapped around each other on the couch, and Lionel lifted his head from Emmett’s shoulder and smiled. “I told you - I’m fine... hardly even sore. Last night was incredible.” He still felt like he was floating a little.

Emmett kissed him softly. “Yes, it was, but I didn’t mean that.”

Lionel shrugged ruefully. “Oh, yeah, that.” He knew that Emmett meant the bust-up with his father. The problem was that he was still kind of numb about the whole thing. Being, well, disowned like that – it was kind of surreal and he wasn’t really sure how he felt. His plan so far had pretty much been to just not think about it.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Emmett said, kneading gently at the muscles in Lionel’s neck, “but we can if you want to – if it’ll help.”

“I don’t know,” Lionel sighed and dropped his head back down; Emmett’s hands felt so good. “I still can’t believe that he acted that way – and said those things. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“It was probably the last thing he expected to see when he came over here.”

Lionel looked up at Emmett. There were a couple of ugly red marks and some faint bruises that had come up on his neck from where his father had grabbed and twisted his shirt when he’d thrown him around.

“I know but that doesn’t excuse what he did.” Lionel moved closer and kissed each mark carefully. “I was scared he was going to really hurt you and that I wouldn’t be able to stop him. I don’t know what I’d have done.”

“Yeah, it was pretty intense,” Emmett said and then his lips quirked in a familiar slanted grin. “Maybe I should have changed that aftershave, huh?”

Lionel laughed, even though it wasn’t really funny, and felt some of the tension bleed away. “I love you,” he said and pressed a fierce kiss to Emmett’s smile. “So damn much.”

“Me too,” Emmett breathed and kissed him back.

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Lionel looked up apprehensively.

“I doubt your Dad would bother knocking,” Emmett said wryly, reading his mind again, and sat up. “Don’t worry - I’ll get it.”

Lionel shook his head and stood up. “It’s okay – I’ll go.” He was damned if he was going to be afraid of every knock at the door. This was his home – their home – and he wasn’t going to let his father’s bigotry taint the happiness he felt here.

He walked over and opened the door. “Mom!” He stood back in surprise.

His mother looked upset, and she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “Oh, Lionel!”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He hugged her back. “I’m okay.”

“This is so awful,” she said and then stepped back, holding onto his shoulders as she looked into his face. “Are you really alright?”

Lionel smiled. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”

She smiled a little tremulously. “I love you, sweetheart.”

He ducked his head. “I love you too, Mom.”

“Um, I’m just going to go and give you some privacy,” Emmett said softly from where he was standing across the room.

Lionel turned around sharply. “No, it’s okay – you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to go.” He saw his mother turn too, obviously just seeing Emmett for the first time, and he could see her eyes widen as she saw the bruises.

“Oh.” She put her hand to her mouth, clearly upset, and turned to him. “Did your father...?”

Lionel nodded grimly.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered and then turned to Emmett. “I am so, so sorry.”

Emmett shrugged it off. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Lionel said firmly, giving Emmett a look. “So did Dad tell you what happened?” He guided his mother to the couch and sat down beside her. Emmett moved to leave, but Lionel held out his hand. “Stay, please?”

Emmett nodded. “Okay – how about I make us some coffee? Mrs Thayer, can I get you a cup?”

“That’s very kind. Thank you, Emmett.”

Emmett glanced at Lionel for a second and then headed to the kitchen.

“So you and Emmett are...” his mother paused looking a little awkward.

“He’s my boyfriend, Mom,” Lionel said softly, and it felt so good to finally say it. He could feel his mother staring at him, and he met her gaze. He wanted her to be okay with this, but he also knew that ultimately that was out of his control. He couldn’t be responsible for how other people felt about him being gay – not even his mother.

“Do you care about this boy, Lionel?”

“Yeah, Mom.” He smiled. “I love him.”

“And he...?”

“Yeah - he loves me too,” he said softly.

Her face fell. “Oh, Lionel – you’re so young, and you’ve only known each other for a few months. How do you know that this is what you really want?”

He took her hands in his. “I know, Mom – I just know – and I know how he makes me feel.”

She looked at him, worry and concern in her eyes.

“He makes me happy, Mom – really happy. I’ve never felt like this before.” He squeezed her hands. “I don’t mean that in a bad way – like I’ve always been unhappy. It’s just that Emmett makes me feel so much more, I guess.”

She gave him a tight smile. “I just don’t want to see you hurt, Lionel. You are being, ah, careful, aren’t you?” she asked with an embarrassed cough.

He knew she was worried but jeez! “You don’t have to worry, Mom. We’re safe.”

She nodded and then sighed heavily. “I am so sorry about your father.”

“What was he even doing here?” Lionel asked.

“He’d come over to talk to you. I think he felt badly about the fight – and then, I suppose...”

“Did he tell you what happened?”

“Not everything,” she sighed. “He didn’t come home until late last night, and he’d been drinking. I managed to piece most of it together – he said that he saw you and Emmett... together. Were you, ah, in bed?” she asked with a blush.

“What? No!” Lionel shuddered at the thought. His father might have really hurt Emmett if he’d caught them like that. “We were on the couch – he saw us through the window in the door and came crashing in. He started attacking Emmett – he thought that it was Emmett’s fault... but I told him that it wasn’t.” He paused and swallowed. “I told him that it was me too – and that’s when he told me that... that I wasn’t his son anymore.” He ducked his head.

“Oh, sweetheart.” His mother’s face crumpled, and she pulled him close. “I can’t believe that he said those things – and attacking Emmett that way.” She shook her head. “I am so sorry. I’ll talk to him – we’ll work this out.”

Lionel pulled away. “I don’t think so, Mom. I think he really meant it. He said he didn’t want to see me and that I wasn’t welcome at the house.”

“Well, we’ll see about that,” she said, setting her mouth in a firm line. “That house is mine too, and you will always have a place there. I want you to know that, Lionel.”

He smiled sadly. “Yeah, but I think it might be best if I stayed away for a while – especially when Dad’s there.”

Her face crumpled again, and she began to cry. “I can’t believe this is happening – not with Greg going away too.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.” He put his arm around her.

“It’s not your fault. But, please – Greg’s leaving for boot camp next weekend. Please come and see him off.”

“What about Dad?”

She sat up straighter and dabbed at her eyes. “Leave your father to me,” she said. “You have every right to be there to say goodbye to your own brother.”

“Okay,” he sighed, but he doubted it would be that easy.

~*~

It wasn’t. His father’s face had turned to stone the moment that he saw Lionel and then he’d acted as if he simply wasn’t there – pointedly ignoring him when Lionel had even tried to say hello. The atmosphere – already sad and tearful because of Greg’s leaving – had become tense and horribly strained, and Lionel had said his goodbyes to his brother and left.

~*~

The weeks passed by, and despite the rift with his father, Lionel was happy. The semester ended and, although Emmett still needed to check in on the snakes regularly, they had long weeks of vacation stretching out before them with virtually nothing to do but be together.

They surfed, went hiking in the mountains, watched movies and spent long mornings lazing in bed and long nights wrapped together in passion.

Life was pretty much perfect.

~*~

Lionel walked up to Emmett as he stood at the stove stirring something in a large pan. “Hey.” He wrapped his arms around Emmett’s waist and peeked over his shoulder. “Whatcha making?”

Emmett settled back into his arms. “Goulash – I called at the farmer’s market down on eighth on my way home.”

“Is that another thing that you learnt how to make when you were travelling with your folks?”

“Nah, this is just one of my Mom’s recipes.” Emmett laughed. “Though we did actually spend some time in Hungary before we moved back to the States for me to go to high school.”

“Mmmm, smells good enough to eat,” Lionel teased and kissed Emmett’s cheek. There was a shadow of stubble that made his lips tingle. “And so do you.”

“’M glad to hear it.” Emmett laughed and pulled him into a proper kiss.

The telephone rang, and Lionel stepped away regretfully. “I’ll get it.”

Emmett grinned and palmed his ass as he turned around.

Lionel laughed and headed into the living room. He picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hello? L-Lionel?” The voice was muffled and indistinct.

“Mom? Is that you?”

“Oh, Lionel!”

He could hear sobbing. What was going on? “Mom! What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

“Lionel.” There was a long pause filled with the sound of crying. “It’s Greg.”

“What? What’s happened? What’s the matter with Greg?” Lionel had spoken to him last week. He loved being at boot camp, and he’d been excited about some big training exercise that was coming up.

He could hear her swallowing heavily. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. He’s gone. Your brother’s been k-killed.”

“What? No! Mom – what do you mean?” There had to be some mistake; he’d been fine just a few days ago. “What happened? He’s still in boot camp!”

“It was an accident. Some kind of training manoeuvres – there was an explosion. I don’t know... I’m sorry, sweetheart, I can’t talk right now.” She began to cry more heavily, and it was difficult to hear through the sobbing. “But I had to call you, to let you know. You know how your daddy is and he’s...” She swallowed. “He’s taking this hard. I have to go now. I love you, Lionel.”

The line went dead, and Lionel slowly put the receiver back down. He felt weirdly detached, not really believing what he’d just heard.

“Lionel? You okay?”

Lionel stared down at the telephone and shook his head. “No – I...” He turned around and looked over at Emmett standing in the archway. He didn’t know what Emmett saw in his face, but in the next moment he was at his side.

“It’s Greg. There was an accident,” he said blankly, his eyes suddenly hot and itchy. “He’s dead.” His voice broke, and Emmett immediately wrapped his arms around him. He tried to breathe past the band squeezing at his throat but it was too tight, and he gulped painfully. Emmett’s arms kept him steady, and he leaned in, pressing his face into the warmth of Emmett’s neck; it felt so familiar and safe. “Greg’s dead,” he whispered.

“Oh, babe,” Emmett sighed and held him tight as he cried for his brother.

~*~

There was a beautiful, blue sky on the day of Greg’s funeral. He was buried with full military honours, and Lionel didn’t know if he would ever get the sound of the gun volleys out of his head. Or the sight of his mother clutching that neatly folded flag to her chest and sobbing quietly as the coffin sank slowly from sight.

The wake was held at his parents’ house. Lionel had only ever been to one funeral before, and it had been for his grandfather who’d been ninety when he’d passed away. At the wake people had told stories of his life, and although there’d been sadness there’d also been a sense of celebration for a long life, well lived. There was nothing like that today though. The house was full of people, and it seemed like everyone was having the same conversation.

‘He was so young.’ ‘A senseless waste.’ ‘A terrible tragedy.’

After the twentieth person had patted his shoulder and told him how sorry they were for his loss, Lionel felt as if all the air was being sucked from the room. He escaped outside and went down to the pool – well away from the platitudes and sympathetic looks – and stared into the water.

There’d only been ten months between them, and it felt weird to think that Greg would never grow any older now. He wouldn’t play ball again or chase Val around the pool or tease Anne - or a thousand other things that he should be doing instead of lying dead in a box in the ground at nineteen.

Lionel felt heat rushing behind his eyes, and he blinked it away.

Greg would never meet that special person – the one that he’d know straight away was the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He would never know what it felt like to fall in love – really in love – and to have that person love him back. Greg would never have the chance to experience any of that, and it was just so damn wrong.

“Hey, Li.” Anne walked up and stood at his side. She looked pale, and her eyes were red.

“Hey.” Lionel wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “How you doing?”

“I’m okay,” she said quietly. “This is all so horrible though. Like a nightmare that won’t stop.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“I keep expecting to wake up and find everything back the way it used to be.” She paused and then sighed. “But that’s not going to happen, is it? Things are never going to be the same again, are they?”

“No.” Lionel shook his head. “I don’t think they can be.”

Anne nodded sadly. “Where’s Emmett?”

Lionel looked at her in surprise. “He’s at home. He offered to come with me, but you know how Dad is.”

“Yeah, I know,” Anne said, sounding angry. “It’s not fair though. Emmett’s your boyfriend, and he ought to be here to support you if you want him to. Dad is so wrong treating you like this.”

Lionel shrugged. “It would be nice to have Emmett here, but I’m doing okay.” He smiled a little. “He said he’d come and sit in the car and wait for me if I wanted, but I told him no.” He wasn’t going to have his boyfriend sit outside like some outcast. He’d appreciated the offer though; it was so typical of Emmett – always thinking about him.

Anne hugged him tightly and buried her face in his chest.

“Hey, hey,” Lionel soothed and stroked her hair. “It’s okay.”

“I don’t care what Dad says. I love you, and I’m proud to have you as my brother,” she said fiercely. “I’m proud of the way that you’re standing up to Dad and not letting him push you around. I wish that he could just forget his stupid prejudices and remember what a special person you are and that you’re the same person that you’ve always been. You won’t let him scare you away, will you?” She suddenly sounded so young. “Promise?”

Lionel was shocked. He’d known that his father’s attitude towards him had upset Anne, but he hadn’t realised how much. “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, kiddo,” he joked gently. “I’ll always be your big brother, and I’m always going to be around. Okay?”

Anne nodded against his chest, and he could feel her shaking as she cried softly. He didn’t know if her tears were for Greg or for him – or maybe for both of them – but he just hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

They stood like that for a while and eventually Anne pulled away, wiping at her eyes with fumbling fingers. Lionel handed her a handkerchief, and she smiled tremulously.

“Thanks, Li – for everything.”

He saw her smile fade as she looked at something over his shoulder. He turned around – his father was walking towards them.

“Anne, I need to talk to your brother, please – alone.”

Anne looked apprehensive, but Lionel nodded.

“It’s alright, Anne – I’ll see you later, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” Anne hugged him quickly and then hurried back towards the house without a glance at their father.

“She’s mad at me,” his father said quietly.

It was the first time that they’d spoken since that night, and Lionel nodded briefly but didn’t say anything. It was the truth after all.

“Look, son. I...” His father held out his hand and then he let it drop limply to his side with a sigh.

Lionel looked at his father. He’d stood rigidly during the funeral – once a Marine, always a Marine – with his eyes hidden behind dark glasses, but now his shoulders were drooping and his eyes seemed dull. He seemed smaller somehow too - less vital as if a spark had been extinguished inside him – and his face was haggard and pale under the normal glow of his tan. He dragged a hand through his hair and there were a lot more grey hairs than the last time Lionel had seen him.

He turned to Lionel. “Son, I want us to forget about everything that’s happened over the last few months.” He paused. “I want us to be a family again, and you should know that you’re always welcome here.”

Lionel was surprised; he hadn’t expected his father to apologise - but then he hadn’t actually apologised. He just wanted to brush everything under the carpet and go back to how things used to be. Lionel had told Anne that things could never be the same again without Greg – and he knew that they couldn’t be the same with him either. He couldn’t do as his father asked and forget about everything that had been said and done. He wasn’t trying to punish his father – especially not now – but he just couldn’t do it.

“What about Emmett?” he asked softly.

“What do you mean?” His father sounded confused. “What about him?”

That was a part of the problem – his father hadn’t even considered Emmett when he’d suggested that they handily forget about it all.

“I mean, is Emmett welcome here too?”

“Son,” his father sighed and spread his hands out helplessly. “I can’t – that’s... you’re asking too much of me.”

Lionel shook his head. “No, Dad. I’m not.” His spoke quietly, but he could see the surprise in his father’s eyes. “You’re the one who’s asking too much. You want to just forget about everything that’s happened and for me to come back into the family and say nothing else about it.” He sighed. “I won’t pretend to be something that I’m not, Dad. You want me to choose between being myself or being a part of this family – and I won’t do that.”

“Son, come on now,” his father huffed. “Be reasonable.”

“I am being reasonable – you’re the one who’s not! You want me to hide who I am, and to deny the existence of the man that I,” he took a breath, “that I love - just to get my place back in the family.”

His father looked as if he’d been punched in the gut. “I don’t want to hear that, Lionel.”

“I know you don’t, Dad, but you have to. I’m not going to choose between my family and Emmett.” He pressed on, determined. “And it’s not that Emmett doesn’t understand – he does, and he would never ask me to put him before my family. But you do – you want me to deny who I am.” He looked at his father, willing him to understand. “The thing is though, Dad – I’m not ashamed. Being gay isn’t twisted or wrong or perverted. You’re not going to make me feel shame for loving Emmett. I love you, Dad and I always will, but I can’t live a lie for you. I won’t.”

His father’s eyes flashed, and Lionel could see the moment that he lost control. “Okay, this has gone on long enough!” he snapped. “I want you to forget about this nonsense and move back home and start living a normal life again. You won’t have to see that... boy again, and we can put the whole thing behind us.”

Lionel was stunned. Did his father really think that it was that simple? Did he honestly believe that Lionel would just give Emmett up like that and somehow stop being gay? It was like he had no idea who Lionel even was.

“No! Don’t you see? This isn’t some ‘experiment’ or a phase that you can rationalise away. This is who I am.” Lionel straightened his shoulders. “I’m gay, Dad.” His father flinched, but he carried on. “And nothing you can do or say will change that.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” his father shouted. “Especially now... today.”

“I’m not doing this to hurt you, Dad,” Lionel said, “but you started this conversation, and I’m not going to lie to you.”

It was as if his father hadn’t even heard him. “Today of all days, with Greg barely put to rest.” He balled his fists up angrily. “At least he died for something he could be proud of.” He turned and looked at Lionel. “Your brother was a real man. Christ, I wish...” He snapped his mouth shut and spun away, but Lionel had seen the look in his eyes.

“You wish that it had been me,” Lionel whispered. “That I’d died instead of Greg.” Oh, God – but that hurt.

His father turned back, despair and contrition on his face. “No! Son, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... I didn’t say that.”

Lionel shook his head. “You didn’t have to, Dad.”

“Son! Please...”

Lionel ignored his father’s outstretched hand and turned around and walked towards his car, desperately wishing that Emmett was there waiting for him.

~*~

It had been two months since the funeral, and Lionel hadn’t seen his father at all in that time. He hadn’t told his mother about what had happened. She was grieving for Greg and didn’t need to know this too, but he had confided in Emmett. He’d seen the flare of anger in his eyes, but Emmett had stayed calm and helped him to talk it through – which was exactly what Lionel had needed.

Intellectually, Lionel knew that his father had been overwhelmed by grief and that he hadn’t really wished that Lionel could take Greg’s place, but it still hurt to know that the thought had been there, no matter how briefly. It was that familiar feeling again that he didn’t quite measure up in his father’s eyes.

He’d decided in the end to try not to dwell on it though. He couldn’t make his father understand who he was; he would have to get there on his own - or not. Either way, Lionel couldn’t do anything about it, and he was so damn tired of trying to live his life to meet his father’s expectations. It was time that he focussed on living for himself.

~*~

It was still early, but pale beams of sunlight were beginning to peek around the edges of the blind in Lionel’s room, and a light breeze was drifting through the partially open window. Lionel sighed happily and snuggled down into the warm circle of Emmett’s arms as they lay spooned together under the comforter.

“Hey.” Emmett’s voice was still rough with sleep – and more – and he pressed a kiss to the back of Lionel’s neck. “How about we do something today?”

Lionel stretched and felt a delicious burn deep inside from where they’d just made love. “I thought we’d already done something,” he snorted.

“Mmmmm, yeah,” Emmett said, reaching down and squeezing Lionel’s ass, “we did, but I meant going out somewhere. The new semester will be starting soon and, I know – let’s drive up to San Francisco and stay over for a couple of days.”

“What?”

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Emmett wheedled. “We can do stupid touristy stuff and ride the cable cars and maybe go dancing at a club.”

“You mean a gay club?”

“Yeah. We can stay in the Castro. What do you think?”

Lionel had been to San Francisco a few times but only with his family, and, not surprisingly, they’d never been to the Castro – the city’s gay district. It sounded exciting and maybe a little daunting, but he nodded happily. “I think it sounds great.”

~*~

They took the Mustang and headed north, arriving in San Francisco around mid-afternoon. They were only planning to stay a couple of days and didn’t want to waste any time, so they quickly found a small hotel on a quieter side street and then went out to explore.

The area was a colourful jumble of old Victorian style buildings with a mix of small stores and businesses, most of them displaying rainbow banners and flags. There were very few chain stores, instead an eclectic selection of ‘mom and pop’ type places – or more likely ‘pop and pop’ - and some cool old movie theatres still with their fancy 1930s decor. The place had a real feeling of community, and there was a vibrancy and energy - a sense of life - that was almost tangible. The streets were full of people, and many of them had their arms around their partners or were holding hands – men with men and women with women.

Lionel looked around in awe. “Wow, this place is amazing,” he breathed and then felt his cheeks burn a little as he saw two men kissing by an open taxi cab door. It wasn’t exactly pornographic – in fact it was quite chaste – but it was strange to see it done so matter of factly out on the street. “I can’t believe how relaxed everybody is – how open they are.” He hoped he didn’t look like some wide-eyed kid in the big city for the first time – although he guessed that he probably did.

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Emmett grinned and linked his fingers through Lionel’s. “Do you like it?”

Lionel looked down at their casually joined hands. “Yeah - I do.” He glanced around, just a little shyly, and then leaned in and gave Emmett a brief kiss. It felt wonderful not to have to hide their love here; it was actually kind of liberating.

Emmett smiled. “I’m glad.”

They strolled along, hands still joined, and checked out some of the cool and quirky, and sometimes downright weird, little stores that lined the streets, the cable cars trundling past in a rumble of noise and clanging bells.

It was all so new and exciting that Lionel hardly knew where to look next, but it was the people that really caught his attention. They were all ages, colours, shapes and sizes, but they virtually all seemed to have one thing in common – they were gay. It was so different from being back at home, and a thought suddenly hit him; this wasn’t just about him and Emmett and the shelter of their life together anymore. There were other people just like them - they weren’t alone.

He squeezed Emmett’s hand happily, grinning as Emmett turned and smiled and returned the pressure.

After a while though, he began to notice something else. A lot of the men that passed by were staring at Emmett, looking him up and down, and he saw a couple of them wink or smile in a pretty blatant way. They looked confident and self-assured, and most of them were really good looking too, dressed in tight jeans and shirts that showed off their toned physiques.

Lionel glanced to his side. Emmett fitted in completely - he was totally at ease with himself and so damn hot with his firm, broad chest and snug fitting cargo pants that showed the peachiness of his ass to perfection.

Lionel sighed and crumpled a little inside. What if Emmett noticed the come-ons and decided he could do better? There was no way that he could ever compete with these guys.

“Hey, you okay? You’ve gone kind of quiet.”

Lionel gave himself a mental shake. “Sorry, I was just...” What? Having a spontaneous panic because he had a really hot boyfriend? Jeez, even he knew that sounded lame, and it wasn’t like Emmett seemed to have even noticed any of the looks.

Emmett smacked a kiss to his cheek and pulled him over to a sidewalk cafe with tables outside. “Come on. Let’s take a load off and people watch for a bit.”

Yeah, and maybe Emmett might start to see the looks. “Sure.” Lionel smiled weakly.

They sat down at a small table for two under the shelter of a rainbow-striped awning. A server came over – looking like a bronzed Adonis, of course, in a very tight muscle shirt with even tighter looking jeans – and Emmett ordered a couple of coffees.

He squeezed Lionel’s hand. “Are you going to tell me what’s up? You know, if you don’t like it here or you’re not having fun then we can get back in the car and go someplace else – or just go home. It’s okay.”

Lionel suddenly felt so stupid; Emmett was always thinking about him, and he was acting like a kid. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “It’s nothing - just me being dumb, as usual, I guess.”

“Hey! Watch it,” Emmett teased. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”

“Well, I think you maybe should have better taste in men.” Lionel smiled, but he was only half joking.

“Lionel?” Emmett looked serious now. “What’s the matter?”

Their server arrived with their order and left with an openly flirtatious smile in Emmett’s direction.

“That!” Lionel said, jerking his head at the server’s receding back. “That’s what’s the matter. You’re gorgeous, and there are all these good looking guys checking you out, and there’s no way that I can compete with them.”

Emmett looked nonplussed for a second and then he burst out laughing. “Babe!” He leaned in and cupped Lionel’s cheek with one hand and smiled softly. “You don’t have to compete with anybody. Why would you even think that?”

“They keep looking at you and smiling and leering – everybody wants you!”

“First off, I don’t care who’s looking – you’re the only one that I’m looking back at, okay?” Emmett kissed him firmly. “And secondly, haven’t you noticed how they’re looking at you too?”

“What? They’re not.” Lionel glanced around quickly.

“Yeah, they are.” Emmett smiled proudly. “I’m not surprised though – I happen to have a very hot boyfriend.”

Lionel ducked his head. “Seriously? People are looking at me?”

Emmett grinned. “Yep.” He turned to one side and pointed at their reflection in the storefront’s wide, glass window. “Just take a look at yourself, babe.”

Lionel turned - and saw his own doubtful looking face staring back at him.

“I don’t even know where to begin.” Emmett laughed. “For one thing, there are those amazing hazel eyes you have that kind of flash gold and green when you’re really focussed on something.” He leaned in and whispered in Lionel’s ear. “Like when we’re making love.”

Lionel felt his cheeks burning, and Emmett chuckled.

“Then there are those sweet pink lips that make me want to lose myself for days - especially that pouty lower one that drives me crazy until I just have to give in and nibble on it.”

Lionel felt his eyes widening.

“Don’t even get me started on those cheekbones.” Emmett grinned. “There are models that would kill for bone structure like that, and you know what? You’re only going to get more gorgeous as you get older.” He leaned closer and guided Lionel’s face around until they were looking at each other again. “You’re always going to be hot, and I’m always going to want you.”

“Oh.” Lionel didn’t know what to say. He’d never thought that much about his looks. He knew that his father had always thought that he looked too much like his mother; that was okay for Val or Anne but definitely not for his son. Now here was Emmett showing him what he saw, and it was kind of a revelation.

“You’re beautiful, Lionel.” Emmett’s gaze softened, and Lionel could see that he really meant it. “Inside and out.” He leaned in and kissed him gently. “You know you don’t have anything to be jealous about, right? I love you.”

Lionel smiled. “I love you too.” He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ve been kind of an idiot, haven’t I?”

Emmett grinned and kissed him again. “Yeah, but you’re my idiot.” He sobered a little. “You know, if anything, I should be the one who’s getting worried. I mean we’ve been together for a few months now, but this is still pretty new to you and you might decide you want to try some new experiences.”

Lionel knew that Emmett meant new men, and he shook his head immediately. He couldn’t even imagine being with anyone else. “Now who’s being an idiot?” he snorted. “I love you, and I’m not interested in anybody else.” This wasn’t just about sex; he loved Emmett.

Emmett’s smile was lopsided and bright, making Lionel fall in love with him all over again, and he just had to kiss him.

“So, we okay now?” Emmett asked as they slowly pulled apart.

“Yeah.” Lionel nodded. “Sorry.”

“No need,” Emmett said and moved a little closer and wrapped an arm around Lionel’s shoulders.

They sat like that for a while, enjoying the late afternoon sun, and drinking their coffee as the world went by.

A couple of older men, both with grey hair, came and sat a nearby table. They smiled at Lionel and Emmett pleasantly and then turned to each other, heads bent close as they talked. They were probably in their sixties, and there was such an air of familiarity and ease about them that it looked like they’d lived a lifetime together. Their hands were entwined, and Lionel noticed that they were wearing matching gold bands on their left ring fingers.

Emmett followed his gaze. “They’re married,” he murmured quietly into Lionel’s ear.

Lionel turned and looked at him in surprise.

“It’s not legal.” Emmett shrugged. “But maybe one day it will be.”

Lionel glanced back over at the couple. The one was laughing at something the other had said, and they looked relaxed and happy, enjoying being together. “I like it – they love each other, and they’re proud of it. They want the world to know.”

Emmett looked at him for a moment and then smiled. “Yeah. I know how they feel.”

Lionel felt a warm glow in his chest, and he smiled back. “Me too.”

~*~

They headed back to the hotel to get ready to go out for dinner.

The shower cubicle was really small and, even if they were pressed together from head to toe – which wasn’t a bad thing, of course - there was no way that they could both fit and manage to move enough to actually wash. After a great deal of scuffling and giggling and some down and dirty and totally hot rubbing off against each other they finally decided to take turns showering.

Emmett went first, and Lionel decided to use the time to try and regain full use of his brain after the amazing orgasm he’d just had. He crashed out on the bed and was dozing contentedly when he heard the shower turn off.

Emmett came through, and Lionel propped himself up onto his elbows and watched as he sorted through his duffle.

Emmett looked over and gave a low whistle. “Now that’s what I call a view. They can forget about the Golden Gate Bridge – that’s definitely the best sight in San Francisco.” He paused and did the cute thing with his eyebrows that always made Lionel smile. “But I think it’s best if we keep this one off the sight-seeing trail and just for me.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Lionel laughed and then drew in a breath as Emmett turned around to grab his shirt, showing off his gorgeous naked ass in the process. “Though I happen to think that I have the best view in town.”

“Always glad to be of service,” Emmett leered and then grinned dopily and started to dress – though he did take his time.

Lionel just lay on the bed and watched. Emmett might think that Lionel was beautiful, but Emmett was stunning.

“Okay.” Emmett laughed as he eventually finished buttoning up his shirt. “Show’s over, cowboy!” He leaned down and gave Lionel a kiss. “I’m just going to grab a quick soda while you get ready. Do you want anything?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks.” Lionel stood up and returned the kiss. “Oh, hey! Better make sure you don’t forget your key,” he teased.

“Oh, ha ha,” Emmett smirked and smacked Lionel’s ass, escaping with a chuckle before he could retaliate.

Lionel laughed and headed for the bathroom.

He showered, taking his time under the massaging warmth of the water, and then stepped out and snagged a towel. He rubbed his hair practically dry and pushed back the dark strands that had fallen into his eyes. He had tried keeping it shorter in the past, but he had a mass of cowlicks that stood up in randomly startled spikes, and anyway Emmett seemed to have a thing for running his fingers through it and so he was quite happy to keep it the way it was.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and went through into the bedroom. He was surprised that Emmett hadn’t gotten back yet. Then again this was a small hotel – they probably didn’t even have a soda machine.

He grabbed his clothes; Emmett had dressed pretty smartly – ditching his tee and cargo shorts for good jeans and a black dress shirt - and so he followed suit and chose a smart pair of jeans and a white cotton shirt.

He was just rolling the sleeves of his shirt back when the door opened, and Emmett walked in, soda can in hand, and looking a little out of breath.

“You okay?” Lionel asked.

“Sure.” Emmett nodded, but he looked flushed. “The machine was empty, and I had to go down the street. So – you ready?”

“Yeah.” Lionel smiled. “Starving!”

Emmett smiled back, and they headed out.

~*~

They chose a friendly little restaurant down by the water, with tiny lights twinkling around the doorway and tables overlooking the bay. The food was great, and afterwards they decided to take a walk by the waterside.

It had been a warm day, but there was a faint mist over the water, and Lionel shivered in the chill air.

“Cold?” Emmett asked.

“A little.”

Emmett dropped an arm around his shoulders, and Lionel settled in happily against the warmth of his body, wrapping one arm around his waist.

They strolled along to a small viewing point and stood for a while just watching as the lights of the city blinked to life.

Emmett was quieter than normal, and Lionel turned to look at him. The breeze was catching at his hair, and his eyes were bright and so incredibly blue in the reflected light. He looked at Lionel and smiled, but he seemed uncharacteristically hesitant, almost nervous, and he put his hand into his pocket.

“Is everything okay?” Lionel asked quietly.

“Yeah. Well, it is for me, and I hope it will be for you too.”

“Now you’ve lost me,” Lionel chuckled.

Emmett blew out a long breath. “Okay. So I’ve done something, and I want it, and I think you want it too – well, I hope you do - but you have to tell me if I’ve got it totally wrong.”

Lionel had no idea what Emmett was talking about.

“I got us these...” Emmett pulled his hand from his pocket and opened it slowly. Two plain gold rings rested on his palm – oh, wow... they looked like wedding bands.

“They’re not much, but they’re the best that I could afford, and I know it’s not legal but that wouldn’t make it any less real to me.”

Lionel stared at Emmett, and he could feel his eyes opening wider. Emmett wanted to do this – to make a commitment. “It would be real to us,” he breathed and then smiled and closed his palm over Emmett’s. “It is real to us.”

“You want to? Really?” Emmett’s smile was bright and hopeful. “I didn’t know if it was too soon.”

“Not for me,” Lionel said fiercely. It didn’t feel too soon at all, in fact, it felt totally right. If losing Greg had taught him one thing, it was that you never knew what was around the corner and that you had to live your life now. He and Emmett already shared something special, and this seemed the obvious next step – a tangible symbol of how they felt.

Emmett brought their joined hands up and unfurled their fingers. He picked up one of the rings. “I had to guess at the size – I hope it’s okay.”

Lionel watched as Emmett took his left hand in his and then carefully slipped the band onto his finger.

“Perfect fit,” Lionel whispered, looking up into Emmett’s eyes and smiling. The smooth metal felt warm against his skin, and it settled into place as if it had always been there.

Emmett smiled back and then Lionel saw his gaze drop, watching as Lionel picked up the other ring and reached for his hand. Emmett’s hand was so warm and big in his own, and he gently fit the gold band onto his finger, sliding it down over the strong knuckle until it rested snugly in place.

Emmett’s smile was blinding, and he held their hands up together so that the matching bands were next to each other.

They both stared at the rings, nestled perfectly side by side, and Lionel felt a rush of happiness. In every way that mattered, he had just agreed to share his life with Emmett – and Emmett with him.

He looked into Emmett’s eyes and saw everything that he ever needed staring right back at him. They didn’t need a piece of paper to prove what they shared together.

“I love you,” Lionel said.

“Me too.” Emmett pulled him closer. “I love you so damn much.”

And suddenly they were clinging to each other and kissing until they were both breathless.

They eventually broke apart with a gasp, grinning and laughing and giddy with excitement.

“We did it!” Emmett shouted and kissed him again.

Lionel pulled away with a snorting giggle. “So does this mean this is our honeymoon?”

Emmett sniggered, but then his gaze grew more intense, and he framed Lionel’s face with his hands and leaned in, his breath hot against Lionel’s lips. “Oh, absolutely.”

They didn’t go dancing that night. Instead they went back to their room and made love, whispering vows of forever into each other’s skin.

~*~

The next day was a patchwork of silly, tourist stuff interspersed with long, sweet kisses and frequent stops to look at their hands, both of them grinning madly whenever their rings clinked together. They finally went to a club too, staying wrapped around each other on the crowded dance floor as they slow danced into the early hours.

~*~

They took the coast road back towards Los Angeles, and the ocean was a brilliant blue companion at their side as they zipped along.

Lionel was driving, and every now and again a flash of light caught his eye, and he glanced at his hand on the steering wheel - and the gold band shining brightly on his finger.

“Hey.” He smiled over at Emmett who was sprawled in the passenger seat. “I meant to ask you – how did you get the rings anyway? Or was it part of some carefully concocted plan?”

“Sorry - no plan.” Emmett laughed. “But when we were at that cafe and saw that old couple... well, it suddenly seemed kind of obvious. I want us to be like that in forty years time or whatever.”

“Yeah.” Lionel smiled. “Me too.”

“Though I doubt I’ll still have that much hair!”

Lionel laughed and reached over and ruffled the top of Emmett’s head. “I don’t care. I’ll still love you.”

Emmett grinned and grabbed his hand and smacked a kiss to it.

“So when did you manage to get the rings?”

“When you were in the shower. I’d seen a little jewellery store near the hotel and so I raced down there on the pretext of getting a soda.”

“Sneaky.” Lionel laughed.

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t afford something fancier.”

“They’re perfect,” Lionel said firmly.

“Well, maybe in a few years, if I manage to earn some real money, then we can get something better.”

“Nope!” Lionel grinned. “This ring stays right where it is. I don’t want another one.”

Emmett smiled ruefully. “I wish I could get you whatever you want.”

Lionel squeezed Emmett’s hand. “You already have.”

He added Emmett’s dazzling smile to the store in his mind and focussed back on the highway. The road got pretty twisty up ahead as it snaked along the hillside, and there was a steep drop on the other side down to the ocean.

“We could always get them engraved,” Emmett said thoughtfully and then he shouted in alarm, “Lionel! Look out!”

A pickup truck was careening around the bend up ahead, slewing wildly onto the wrong side of the road and heading straight for them.

“Shit!” Lionel pulled on the wheel, desperately trying to get out of the way.

Suddenly all the breath was knocked from his body. There was noise and confusion and the world turned upside down.

Then there was nothing.

~*~

It felt like he was underwater. Sounds were indistinct and distorted, and everything seemed heavy, pushing him down and down. Occasionally he could feel himself rising to the surface, and he was aware of faces and sounds – people saying his name and asking him questions but then the heaviness would drag him back under again. He lost track of time - it could have been seconds or days – and he couldn’t figure out what was happening. Was he drowning?

He took a breath. No – he could breathe - he wasn’t underwater. He felt himself rising up again and struggled to wake up – when had he fallen asleep? – and this time things became clearer. The sounds around him coalesced, and he could hear voices in the distance and a soft hum of something electrical closer by. There was a faint scent of something on the air too – disinfectant maybe?

He tried to open his eyes and realised with a start that he ached everywhere – every muscle and joint felt sore, and his head was pounding. What had happened? His mind was blank and then suddenly he remembered. San Francisco! They were driving back home and – the car! They’d been in the car and that truck had hit them and...

Oh, God – Emmett! Where was Emmett?

Lionel forced his eyes open even though it hurt. His vision was blurry, and he squinted until it finally sharpened and he could see clearly. He was in a hospital room, lying propped up in a bed. He could see his left arm and hand on top of a pale green blanket - and the gold of his wedding band winking in the reflected light from a monitor at the side of the bed.

Why was he alone? Where was Emmett? Please God, don’t let anything have happened to him...

“Hey, you’re awake.” The voice was soft and a little raspy, but he’d know it anywhere.

Emmett! Oh, thank God.

He turned his head and winced as it throbbed painfully. Then he saw Emmett sitting at the side of the bed, and Lionel’s breath caught and made a strange, hitching, gulping sound.

Emmett looked terrible. He had one arm in a lightweight sling and there were scratches and bruises along the one side of his face and dark circles under his eyes - but Lionel didn’t care; he’d never seen anything more beautiful.

“Em-” He coughed as the words caught in his dry throat, and his chest began to ache in accompaniment. “Are you okay?”

The worry and weariness on Emmett’s face instantly dissolved into a smile. His eyes looked a little watery, but they were warm and suddenly bright with relief. “Am I okay? Jesus, babe!” He shook his head fondly. “I’m fine.”

Lionel could feel pressure against his right hand, and he looked down to see Emmett’s free hand wrapped around his, squeezing convulsively.

Emmett blew out a long, ragged breath and dropped his head to rest on their joined hands. He pressed a kiss to Lionel’s fingers and then looked up and smiled wryly. “I’m absolutely fine now that you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Lionel coughed again, and Emmett reached for a cup of water and gently pressed the straw to Lionel’s lips. He drank a few sips and nodded in thanks. ‘Ow!’ – his head was pretty sore. “What happened?”

Emmett’s expression grew angry, but he took Lionel’s hand again, holding it gently. “Some asshole in a pickup took the bend too fast and ran straight into us. You managed to swerve, but it wasn’t enough, and your side of the car took most of the hit.” He paused and swallowed, his breathing unsteady. “We ended up on the roof at the side of the road. I could smell gas. You...” He paused again, and his eyes looked bleak – almost haunted. “You were out cold, but I managed to crawl out. Your door wouldn’t open.” He squeezed Lionel’s hand, and his words became choppy. “I was scared the tank would blow - with you still in there. I had to get you out. I broke the window. Managed to drag you. You were breathing... but you wouldn’t wake up. There was blood running down your face and...”

Emmett stopped, his face completely open, and Lionel could see everything – all of the fear and terror that he’d felt in that moment.

“Hey, hey,” Lionel soothed and pulled on their joined hands, pulling Emmett closer. “I’m okay. I’m here – you saved me.” A wave of emotion threatened to overwhelm him. Jesus! Emmett had saved his life. “Thank you,” he whispered and pulled Emmett to him, bumping their lips together. His mouth was sore and the angle was all wrong, but it was still perfect. “Thank you,” he breathed against Emmett’s mouth. “Thank you.”

“I love you,” Emmett said softly and then his breath hitched and when he pulled back his eyes were wet. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?” he whispered fiercely, his voice rough and cracking.

“I promise.” Lionel nodded and - ‘ow!’– his head really did hurt.

Emmett must have seen the wince. “I’d better get the doctor – let them know you’re awake.”

Lionel held onto his hand. “I’m fine. Just a little sore.”

“Yeah, well being in a car wreck can do that.”

Lionel reached up gingerly with his free hand. There was a bandage wrapped around his head, and he flinched as his ribs protested the movement.

“I’m getting the doctor.” Emmett pointed a finger at him. “No arguments.” He smiled and brushed a kiss to Lionel’s temple – one place that didn’t hurt – and then went to get the doctor.

Lionel looked down at himself. His arms and hands were pretty scratched up where they extended from the pale hospital gown, but nothing seemed to be broken, and he could move them okay. With that thought he quickly tried his legs and gave a sigh of relief when they worked as instructed, his toes wiggling under the white cotton sheet. His ribs and chest were pretty sore though, and when he lifted a hand to his face it felt puffy and tender all down one side. His fingers touched his mouth, and he winced - it looked like he had a split lip too.

“Ah, it’s good to see you awake again, Mr Thayer.”

Lionel looked up as a small, grey-haired lady wearing a white coat came into the room with Emmett at her heels.

“I’m Doctor Baker. How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess.” Lionel started to shrug and then thought better of it. “Just kind of sore.”

“Yes, you have some bruised ribs and took a rather nasty bump to the head. You’ve been in and out of consciousness for a little while.” Doctor Baker took a small pencil light from her pocket and shone it in his eyes. “How’s your vision?”

“Good,” Lionel said. “I can see fine.”

“No seeing double or blurring?”

Lionel shook his head carefully.

“Any nausea? Dizziness? Loss of motor control?”

“Um, I don’t think so.” He’d been able to kiss Emmett just fine – did that count?

“Can you close your eyes and touch your finger to the end of your nose?”

Lionel did as instructed, and Doctor Baker grinned. “Don’t worry – I won’t ask you to get out of bed and walk in a straight line.”

“I wasn’t drinking,” Lionel said, suddenly worried. He looked at Emmett, standing at the other side of the bed, and reached out for his hand. Emmett took it and squeezed reassuringly.

Doctor Baker glanced at them and smiled. “I know you weren’t – sorry.” She patted his shoulder. “Just a joke.”

The doctor listened to his heart and lungs and asked him a few more questions and made a few notes on his chart. “Well, it looks like you’ve had quite a lucky escape, Mr Thayer.”

“It was Emmett,” Lionel said softly. “He pulled me out.”

Doctor Baker nodded. “Yes, it was a good thing too, I understand.”

Lionel glanced at Emmett.

“Sorry, Lionel – the Mustang’s toast. I think there was a spark from the electrics.”

Oh, wow – it had blown? Emmett really had saved his life.

“I know you loved that car,” Emmett said sadly.

Lionel smiled and squeezed Emmett’s hand. “Idiot.” Yeah, he had loved the car, but they’d both made it out alive. The car really didn’t matter.

“So,” Doctor Baker said, sounding amused. “We’ll keep you in overnight for observation, but your CAT scan is clean and there’s no sign of any swelling to the brain. If things carry on this way then you should be able to go home tomorrow.”

Lionel smiled gratefully. He really just wanted to go home with Emmett. “Thank you, Doctor.”

She smiled pleasantly at them both and then bustled out.

“She’s been really nice,” Emmett said. “I was worried they’d kick me out – cus of all that crap about official next of kin and stuff - but I think she guessed about us, and she let me sit with you once they’d got you fixed up. She said that as I’d been injured too it was easier for her to check on both of her patients if we were together.” He grinned.

Thank God the doctor had been so understanding. Lionel didn’t know what he’d have done if he’d woken up here without Emmett. “How are you?” he asked, getting Emmett to sit down by the bed again. “How’s your arm?”

“It’s okay.” Emmett nodded down towards the sling. “It’s not broken – just a sprain. It’ll be fine in a few days.”

Lionel reached up and traced his fingers gently down the uninjured side of Emmett’s face. “I...” His throat tightened as he imagined what might have happened – how much worse it could have been. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

Emmett pressed his face into Lionel’s palm and nodded. “Me too. I was so scared – you were so still and for a second I thought that you weren’t breathing... that you were...” He closed his eyes and swallowed heavily.

“Yeah,” Lionel said softly. He slipped his hand to Emmett’s shoulder and pulled him closer until he could carefully wrap an arm around him. “We’re okay though.” He dropped a kiss to Emmett’s hair. “We’re both okay.”

~*~

“Lionel!”

Emmett had gone to find a soda, and Lionel must have fallen into a light doze, but he jerked awake as his mother hurried through the door.

“Mom?” He looked past his mother and could see his father behind her.

“Oh, Lionel! Are you alright?” She looked so worried and her hands were fluttering around his face as if she was afraid to touch him.

“I’m fine, Mom.” He smiled, hiding a wince as his split lip protested. “The doctor says I should be out of here by tomorrow – they just want to keep an eye on me. It looks a lot worse than it is.” That wasn’t exactly true, but he didn’t want her to worry.

“Oh, Lionel.” She sank into the chair by the bed and took his hand gently. “You have no idea what was going through my mind when the hospital called.”

He could imagine – with this happening so soon after Greg. He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry, Mom. There’s no need to worry though. Just some bumps and bruises.”

“But what happened? What were you even doing here?”

Lionel glanced at his father who was standing at the foot of the bed. He hadn’t said a word yet – not even hello. He looked haggard, and there was a strange look on his face that Lionel couldn’t figure out.

“We’d been up to San Francisco for a couple of days before school starts. Just for a vacation.” Lionel saw his father’s expression grow cold. “We were on our way back, and a truck took a corner too fast and drifted over and hit us. The car rolled over.”

His mother gasped and held his hand tighter. “Oh, Lionel – that’s horrible. You could have been killed! Are you sure that you’re okay? How’s Emmett?” At least she’d thought to ask. “What do the doctors say?”

At that moment, Emmett walked back into the room. He paused in the doorway, glancing warily at Lionel’s father, and then looked over at Lionel. He motioned over his shoulder, clearly offering to leave, but Lionel shook his head and smiled, holding out his free hand and waving him over. It was his left hand, and the sight of the ring circling his finger made him feel stronger somehow.

“We’re both a little beat up,” he said, answering his mother’s question, “but we’ll be okay. There’s no permanent damage.”

His mother sagged in relief, but her face grew concerned as Emmett walked over. The bruises on his face were really starting to colour up, and he had a pretty bad black eye.

“Hi Mrs Thayer.” Emmett smiled and nodded politely towards Lionel’s father. “Mr Thayer.”

Lionel was so proud of Emmett – considering that the last time they’d met Lionel’s father had attacked him. Lionel took Emmett’s uninjured hand in his own.

His father didn’t speak, but Lionel saw him looking at their joined hands.

“Oh, dear – Emmett, your face and your arm,” his mother gasped. “Are you alright?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Lionel heard his father say flatly. “It’s his fault that Lionel is in this mess in the first place.”

“Ward!”

“No Faye. He has no business being here,” he growled angrily. “I want him out now. He isn’t family, and he doesn’t belong. I don’t want him anywhere near my son.”

Lionel looked up at Emmett. He could see the hurt that he was trying so hard to hide - and suddenly he was so damn angry with his father. Enough was enough.

“No, Dad. You’re wrong. He does belong,” Lionel said, trying to speak calmly when what he really felt like doing was yelling into his father’s face. That wouldn’t achieve anything though – and he wasn’t prepared to sink to his father’s level. “I want him here - he’s my family.”

“Lionel,” his father said warningly, and he had that weird look on his face again.

“I love him, Dad.” He wasn’t going to back down – he wasn’t ashamed of who he was and who he loved. “And he loves me.”

Lionel saw his father’s face flush. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about!” He sounded desperate and confused.

“No, Dad. It’s you who doesn’t know what you’re talking about. He loves me so much that he risked his life to save mine!” Lionel stared at his father willing him to understand the depth of Emmett’s feelings – of the feelings that they had for each other.

“Lionel?” His mother’s voice was choked.

“Yeah, Mom - Emmett dragged me from the car. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him.”

“You wouldn’t have even been on that damn road if it wasn’t for him,” his father shouted. “What the hell were you doing in San Francisco anyway? Just an excuse to prance around with your faggot friends, I suppose, and get up to God knows what!”

Lionel felt the words like a physical blow, and he dropped back heavily against the pillow. He could hear his mother’s shocked cry, but he didn’t look at her. He could only look at Emmett. It all felt so hopeless – his father was never going to understand and accept him for who he was. His head was pounding painfully, and he suddenly felt weary to his bones, hurting and aching all over. He saw the concern and anger in Emmett’s eyes and then watched as his gaze grew resolute.

“I’m sorry, Mr Thayer,” Emmett said steadily, turning to Lionel’s father. Lionel could tell that he was mad, but he was keeping it under control. “Not for anything that we’ve done but for what you’re doing to yourself. You have the most amazing son who’s smart and talented and incredibly compassionate and loyal – and yet it’s like you don’t even know him.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me about my own son!”

“Ward! Stop it!”

Lionel saw his mother reach out, but his father shook his head angrily. “No, Faye! I’m not having this pansy telling me about my own boy!”

“But someone should,” Emmett said. “You’re shutting him out of your life and refusing to see the man he really is just because you don’t like the fact that’s he’s gay. What does it matter who he chooses to love? It doesn’t change the sweet and caring man that he is. He’s still the same person that you’ve always known.”

“It’s wrong. A perversion... it’s unnatural.” His father sounded almost bewildered, and Lionel could see the despair on his face, and he felt cold inside. Did his father really think that he was so disgusting and terrible?

“How can love be wrong, Mr Thayer?” Emmett cried. “Are you really willing to turn your back on your son because of who he loves?”

“It’s none of your damn business!”

“But it is, Dad,” Lionel interjected. He was so tired of all this, and he wasn’t going to let his father make him feel ashamed for being who he was, dammit. “I love Emmett, and he’s a part of my life – a huge part of it – and I won’t pretend that he isn’t. I want us to be a family again, I do, but I need for you to recognise who Emmett is to me – what he means to me.”

Lionel saw his father’s shoulders slump, and suddenly all the fight seemed to drain from him leaving a tired and sad old man. He looked at Lionel, his eyes skating over again to where he held Emmett’s hand. “I can’t do it, son,” he said quietly and turned and walked slowly from the room.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” his mother said. “He doesn’t mean it – not really. I’m sure of it. He was so worried when we got word that you’d been hurt. He couldn’t drive here fast enough.”

“It’s okay, Mom.” Lionel sighed.

“He hasn’t been the same since Greg,” her breath hitched and then she carried on, “since Greg died. He does love you, Lionel – I know that he does.”

Lionel smiled sadly. “Yeah, well he has a funny way of showing it.”

His mother bent over and kissed his forehead. “I’ll talk to him, sweetheart.” She smiled – worried and a little tremulous – and then hurried out.

Emmett sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “I’m sorry, babe. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything – I know it’s not really my place - but I just couldn’t watch him rip into you like that. I couldn’t stand to see him hurting you.”

“It’s okay,” Lionel said. Emmett cared enough to fight for him and that made him feel warm inside. He knew that he never had to worry about his place in Emmett’s heart. “And of course it’s your place.” He pulled on Emmett’s hand until he lay down carefully on the side of the bed, their heads resting on the pillow together.

“I meant everything I said, you know.” Emmett smiled. “You are amazing – the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” He closed the last few inches between them and brushed a kiss to Lionel’s mouth. “I love you.”

The warm feeling grew, and Lionel smiled. Perhaps his father never would accept who he was, but that was his decision. He was going to live his life the way that he wanted – and he wanted to live it with Emmett. He kissed Emmett softly. “I love you too.”

~*~

The Mustang had been well and truly totalled in the crash, and so they got a ride back to LA from a friend of Emmett’s.

“It’s good to be home,” Lionel sighed as they closed the front door behind them and sank down onto the couch.

“Yeah, maybe going to San Francisco wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had,” Emmett said, rubbing at the back of his neck ruefully.

“Are you kidding me?” Lionel laughed, pulling Emmett over to lie down with him, being careful of his arm and his own sore ribs. “Even with the crash it was the best vacation ever.”

Emmett’s smile was bemused, and Lionel had to kiss it. “We got married,” he whispered against the softness of Emmett’s lips. “Nothing can spoil that.”

Emmett’s hand found his, and he smiled as he felt the two matching bands knocking lightly against each other.

“Yeah,” Emmett murmured and kissed him gently. “Nothing can.”

~*~

It was Sunday – the final day of the summer vacation – and the new semester was starting tomorrow.

They’d been home for a few days, and Lionel’s ribs were feeling a lot better and his head had finally stopped aching. Emmett had abandoned his sling, and the multi-coloured bruises patterning both of their faces had faded enough to stop raising eyebrows whenever they went out.

They’d made love that morning – avoiding any lingering sore spots and just rocking easily against each other, drawing out their climaxes with gentle touches and hot kisses – and then lazed around and shared bagels in bed.

They did finally have to get up though as Emmett needed to go in and check on the lab. Lionel had meant to go with him, but Emmett had taken one look at his dreamy, post-sex lassitude and laughed, kissed him firmly, and told him to relax and that he wouldn’t be gone long.

Lionel had agreed – he did feel a little wiped - and after a quick shower was loafing around on the couch. He needed to check on a few things for tomorrow but he could do that later – he was only signing up for classes and getting his new schedule anyway.

There was a knock at the door, and Lionel’s good mood instantly evaporated as he glanced through the small window and saw that it was his father. He was surprised too; he’d thought that things were pretty much over after the scene at the hospital.

He got up and opened the door.

His father looked uncomfortable, almost nervous, and he spoke quietly. “Hey, son. Mind if I come in? I’d like to talk to you.”

Lionel nodded a little numbly and stood back.

His father came in, and Lionel could see him looking around.

“Emmett’s not here. He’s over at the lab, but he’ll be back soon.”

“Right.” His father nodded, looking uneasy.

He was so unlike his usual confident, forceful self that Lionel blurted out, “Jeez, Dad – do you want to sit down?”

His father looked surprised but then smiled faintly and sat down in one of the armchairs. Lionel took a seat on the couch opposite.

There was a long silence broken only by the ticking of the clock in the kitchen, the noise sounding loud in the quiet house.

Lionel watched his father, but he just sat with his hands clasped and his head down. Eventually he raised his eyes, and Lionel was shocked at the pain and sadness in them.

“Son, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these last few days.” He blew out a breath. “I saw the pictures of the accident – what was left of the car.”

Lionel felt his eyes widen in surprise.

“I’ve got a buddy in the PD, and he let me take a look,” his father explained and then his face grew pale. “Jesus, Lionel! You could’ve been killed.”

“Yeah. If Emmett hadn’t pulled me out.”

His father nodded awkwardly. “It made me face a few things that I hadn’t wanted to think about - and made me realise how I’d feel if you weren’t here, son.”

Lionel felt a cold ache in his chest as he remembered the conversation they’d had at Greg’s funeral. The way that his father had hinted – if only for a second – that he’d wished that Lionel could have died in Greg’s place.

“I know what you’re thinking, Lionel,” his father said hurriedly, “but you’re wrong. Oh, God, son – to think about losing you like that. I’ve been going out of my mind this week, torturing myself with the idea that I could have lost you so damn easily.” He leaned forward and reached out a hand, as if wanting to emphasise his words, to reinforce them somehow. “I’ve already lost one son, and God help me, I don’t want to lose another. Lionel – you could have been taken from me in the blink of an eye, and I’d never have gotten to see you again. But then I realised how I’ve been shutting you out for months anyway and keeping you away.” He stopped and shook his head. He looked angry – but not with Lionel this time. It was more like he was angry with himself. “I’m not good with words like your mother is, Lionel, but I want you to know that I love you... and that I’m sorry. I should never have shut you out of our lives like that, son. I hope that you can forgive me.”

Lionel stared at his father in shock. He had never expected to hear this – his father apologising in this way. “But at the hospital,” he said, confused. “You were so mad – the things you said to me and to Emmett.”

His father’s face flushed, but he didn’t look angry any more - he looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, son. I was so damn afraid for you when we got that call and then seeing you all banged up like that – that bandage around your head and your face all bruised and swollen.” He shook his head. “I just lashed out. I don’t think I really knew what I was feeling or saying. I couldn’t think straight. I’m sorry.”

Lionel didn’t know what to say to that.

“I hope it’s not too late.” His father sighed. “And I should have said it years ago, but I want you to know that I’m proud of you, son – and I’d like a chance to get to know the man that you’ve grown into.”

“Dad...” He’d waited so long to hear those words – to know that his father was really proud of him - but he had to make something clear. No matter how much he’d always wanted this there were some things that meant more. “I won’t give Emmett up,” he said firmly. “I love him.”

His father nodded slowly, looking a little uncomfortable but obviously trying to make an effort. “I know that, son. I’m not saying that I find it easy to understand, but I want to try.”

Lionel felt a rush of relief flooding through him. “I’d like that too, Dad.”

His father smiled, just a little, and then Lionel saw the smile falter and followed his gaze to Lionel’s left hand – and the gold band on his finger. He looked up, wondering if this was going to be the shortest reconciliation in history.

“Is... that?” his father asked haltingly.

Lionel nodded and touched the ring. “It’s not legal but it doesn’t matter – we know what it means.” He looked his father in the eye. If he really meant what he’d said then he would have to respect what this meant to Lionel.

He saw a flash of surprise and maybe some regret cross his father’s face, but there was no anger or revulsion. “Then I suppose that’s all that matters,” he said quietly.

The front door opened with a rush, and Emmett hurried in. Lionel could see the worry in his face – he’d obviously seen his father’s car and thought the worse.

His father stood up quickly. Perhaps this was the breaking point where the reconciliation faltered. Lionel hoped not – he really wanted to believe what his father had said.

“Emmett.” His father walked over to where Emmett was standing. “I wanted to thank you for what you did for Lionel – pulling him out of the car the way you did,” he said, only a little stiffly. He held out his hand, and Emmett glanced briefly at Lionel and then took it. “And I wanted to apologise for the things that I’ve said and done. It was wrong of me to treat you the way that I did.”

Emmett looked kind of shocked but nodded cautiously as they shook hands.

Lionel came over and stood by Emmett, carefully weaving their fingers together. Lionel saw his father looking at their joined hands for a moment and then he looked up at them both.

“We’re having a family dinner this evening over at the house,” he said hesitantly. “It would be great if you could both come. I know that Faye and the girls would love to see you and...” He paused. “It would mean a lot to me too.”

Lionel looked at Emmett. Emmett tilted his head, and his eyes clearly said, ‘Whatever you want to do.’ Lionel squeezed his hand and smiled softly, grateful beyond belief that Emmett was always there for him. He turned to his father. “Sounds great, Dad – we’ll be over later.”

His father smiled, and this time it reached his eyes. “Look forward to it, son.”

~*~

“So,” Lionel breathed as Emmett pulled the Chevy onto the driveway of his parents’ house. “We’re really doing this.”

Emmett turned off the engine and twisted around to face him, taking his hand. “Only if you want to, babe.”

Emmett’s eyes were clear and startlingly blue, and Lionel could almost feel the love radiating from the smile slanting at his lips. He glanced down at their hands and the gold bands that were a tangible symbol of everything that they shared. He loved Emmett and was proud to share his life with him, and now he wanted his family to be a part of that happiness. He leaned over and kissed the crooked smile.

“Yeah, I want to.”

They got out of the car, and Lionel could hear the sound of voices in the distance, and there was a lingering scent of bougainvillea in the air.

He smiled softly, reaching for Emmett’s hand, and they walked towards the house together.

~*~

Epilogue ~ 2012

Lionel shivered a little as he and Emmett walked up the wide stone steps leading to the Low Library. Even with the spring sunshine, New York City was a lot cooler than California.

“Nervous?” Emmett grinned.

“Cold.” Lionel laughed and then rolled his eyes. “Okay – and maybe a little nervous.”

Emmett bumped his shoulder. “There’s no need. You’re going to knock ‘em dead.”

Lionel grinned and felt the butterflies doing laps around his stomach begin to settle.

They headed inside and found their way to the grand hall, with its ornate, high ceilings and richly panelled walls, where they were escorted to their table by a smiling undergraduate.

Lionel watched Emmett as they took their seats. He’d foregone his usual casual look and was wearing a beautifully tailored black suit that showed off his wide shoulders to perfection. His hair was curling into his neck just above the crisp white of his shirt and, although it was a little less luxuriant than when they’d first met, the soft strands were still just as tempting. He never could get enough of looking at Emmett - or touching him - not even after twenty-five years together. He was still gorgeous – and the love of his life.

Blue eyes twinkled at him, catching him staring, but he was used to it by now and he definitely didn’t blush. Well, not much.

The lights in the room grew dim, and the crowd became silent. Lionel reached across and took Emmett’s hand, feeling the familiar slide of metal on metal as their fingers entwined.

They still wore the same rings that Emmett had bought from that tiny jeweller in the Castro. They could easily have afforded to replace them with something more expensive, but Lionel had never wanted to. This was the ring that Emmett had placed on his finger as they stood by the water in San Francisco all those years before, and it was precious to him. They’d been so very much in love - and nothing had changed since that day. In fact, their love had only grown stronger as the years had passed. They had finally been able to make their commitment official when the law had been changed a few years back, but they’d still kept those rings. They hadn’t needed anything else.

Lionel started a little as Emmett squeezed his hand. “This is it – show time.”

The speaker at the lectern on the stage was opening an envelope, his amplified voice loud in the hushed room. “And this year’s Pulitzer Prize in the category of Distinguished Feature Photography is awarded to... Lionel Thayer-Stevens.”

All around him people began to applaud, and Lionel stood up. It wasn’t a surprise – the winners had been announced a month before – but he suddenly felt a little overwhelmed and off balance. Something twisted in his chest, and he wished that his parents were still alive to share this moment. They would have been so proud right now.

Emmett stood up at his side and touched his elbow lightly. The familiar touch grounded him; he had Emmett – he always had Emmett.

Lionel smiled, and Emmett smiled back, another dazzling memory to keep, and then he pressed a quick kiss to Lionel’s lips.

“Go get ‘em, babe.” He laughed and began to clap loudly.

Lionel grinned and leaned in for another kiss and then squared his shoulders and headed towards the stage. He was honoured to receive the Pulitzer - and it would definitely look good next to Emmett’s Nobel - but he couldn’t help remembering that day so long ago back at USC when he’d won his first award.

He smiled and climbed the stairs to the stage. His feelings hadn’t changed at all – awards were nice but having Emmett in his life was better than any damn prize could ever be.

The end

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